It’s Time to Rebel w/ Cari Kenzie

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There are few things that make people successful.

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Taking a step forward to change their lives is one successful trait, but it takes some time to get there.

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How do you move forward to greet the success that awaits you?

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Welcome to Next Steps Forward with host Chris Meek.

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Each week, Chris brings on another guest who has successfully taken the next steps forward.

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Now here is Chris Meek.

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Hello.

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You've tuned in this week's episode of Next Steps Forward, and I'm your host, Chris Meek.

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As always, it's a pleasure to have you with us.

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Next Steps Forward is committed to helping others achieve more than ever while experiencing greater personal empowerment and wellbeing.

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Our guest today is Keri Kenzie.

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Based in Phoenix, Keri is a coach, keynote speaker, podcast host, and healer strategist who works with executive and entrepreneurial women to, quote, uncover the leader within and, quote, build legacies without compromise.

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A survivor of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, Keri has used that experience to inform her work in transformational healing, coaching, and her nonprofit, the Ripples of Change Foundation, which supports trauma healing.

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Keri also hosts the Curiosity, Clarity, Empowerment podcast focused on mindset shifts and courageous living.

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Her background also includes running multiple marathons and founding and exiting a multimillion dollar marketing agency.

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Keri Kenzie, welcome to Next Steps Forward.

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Hey, Chris.

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Thanks so much for having me.

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I'm excited for this conversation.

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I know that a lot of transformation comes from discussions just like this.

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No, I'm looking forward to it and I appreciate your time.

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So Keri, I guess let's start.

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Take us back to the morning of that Boston Marathon.

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You've run multiple marathons.

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Was that your first Boston Marathon or had you run it before?

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No.

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Actually, it was my first Boston Marathon.

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What's interesting about it is I had qualified for that marathon and the second marathon I ever ran, that would have been in 2010.

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You typically get two years to run the marathon without having to requalify.

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I broke my hip in 2011.

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So I flew to Boston, ended up there in 2012 because the heat was so bad and unprecedented.

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They'd never done before.

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If you were there, cross the start line, you could be there in 2013.

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So that's actually why I was at that particular Boston Marathon.

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I was excited.

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I was overjoyed.

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I was nervous.

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I was very nervous.

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I'd had a few marathons that hadn't gone super well just prior to this, but the weather was perfect.

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I mean, it was kind of like this culmination of pulling together thousands and thousands and thousands of people on a perfect, crisp morning.

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So when that starter gun fired, I mean, you were just ready to go.

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I remember both of those marathons.

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At the time I was working for a firm based out of Boston and a bunch of my colleagues would run that every year.

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I remember the one year was extremely, like 75 degrees.

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It's on April 15th, right?

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Is that Patriot's Day?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So they do it there because of the heat.

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Then the next year was perfect.

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I remember also I was actually heading to London on a business trip.

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So I left at 7 o'clock in the morning, but when I landed, my Ben Blackberry was blowing up.

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And so, well, let's get into it here for you.

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Yeah.

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What had you done to prepare for that marathon that year and what was your mindset like?

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Like I said, I was really excited.

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I had run quite a few marathons.

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What's interesting is I had actually, I didn't train in a regimented way prior to 2010 when I qualified.

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After I qualified, then I got very serious about training and hired a personal trainer.

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I did all the nutrition things.

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So I really felt like I was in a position to be prepared to be able to do this.

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I had wanted to run the marathon in a way that allowed me to re-qualify to be back there again the following year.

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So that's kind of where my head was at.

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Now on that day, we know unfortunately three people were killed and more than 260 were injured by the bombs that made it to the finish line.

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Where were you at that moment and how did your body and mind respond to the first signs that something was very, very wrong?

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Well, I had made it to Heartbreak Hill.

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And once I got there, my body started to break down just a little bit, started to cramp, had to pull off to the side.

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So this is how I kind of finished the race.

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And the whole time I would tell myself, it's all right, just you have to finish.

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It's a weird finisher's jacket type of mentality you have.

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You cannot wear the jacket that you've bought until you finish the race.

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So this is where my head was at.

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And so I'm going to finish, but I'll go to the medical tent as soon as I'm done.

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And that's what I kept telling myself the entire way.

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So I finished the marathon, I crossed the finish line, one of the volunteers came up to me, pulled me off to the side, took me into the medical tent.

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So I'd been in there for probably about 15, 20 minutes when I look back at the timing of it.

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They'd come over, checked all the things, and I think they had stepped away to go get fluids, which I'm sure was kind of the issue that I was having.

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And I heard this loud boom.

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And the very first thing that went through my mind, because as you had said, it was Patriot's Day.

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I thought, oh, well, I didn't know that that's how they celebrated Patriot's Day, like literally the words in my head.

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I didn't know that this is how they celebrated Patriot's Day.

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I didn't know that they set off cannons.

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And as soon as that thought processed through, the second one hit.

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When the second one hit, everything shook.

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You felt like the ground was coming out from underneath you.

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The tent shook.

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I looked up to a volunteer, and we caught each other's eyes, and we knew exactly what had happened.

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No spoken words.

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I don't know how.

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I knew exactly what had happened.

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And so I stood up.

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I didn't know where my family was at at the time.

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And by this point, everything happens in such slow motion and so fast all at the same time that they had started to bring in individuals who had been injured into the medical tent.

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And I knew I needed to leave, that I was taking up kind of this additional space that wasn't necessary.

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So I walked outside.

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I looked to my right.

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It was looking down Finisher's Alley, and it was, all I remember was it just being empty and it being sunny and bright.

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And then I looked to my left, and it was like this chaos, this craziness, people running.

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It was smoky.

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It felt dark.

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And a line of Yellow Jackets started running, volunteers.

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And they started screaming at me, run as fast as you can.

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And everybody started chasing me down the street, because at that point, they thought that there was another one underneath the bleachers.

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So I took off running.

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I don't know how far, how fast, how long I ran.

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I just know I ended up at the family meeting area, which I didn't know had been evacuated.

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So in their minds, they evacuated that thinking that would be the most likely next space for whatever had happened to recur.

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So that's where I found myself.

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So often when an extremely traumatic event happens, it takes time to process things.

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What details or emotions didn't register until much later, and when did you comprehend that your life had changed forever?

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None of it registered.

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You knew what had happened.

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I knew what had happened.

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I was in a state of, I think, shock and a little bit of panic.

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Didn't know where my family was.

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Stood in that area for a period of time.

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Fell in love with Bostonians at this moment, because a woman came up to me and said, can I help you?

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Is there anything that I can do for you?

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And I said, I can't find my family.

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And so she handed me her cell phone, and she said, take this and keep it until you get a hold of them.

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And that was huge, because it took a while.

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Cell phones weren't going through.

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It took a while, but I was finally able to get a hold of my husband at the time.

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He came over, got me.

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We left the area, found a cab, made it back to the hotel, went to dinner that night.

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This is the kind of, you're watching it on the news, and you see what's happened, and it just hasn't clicked yet that this is what has happened that you've been a part of.

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The next day, I went down, and this is such a huge moment that I speak about, is when I went down the next day to pick up my bag, my cell phone, all of the things, I did have that finisher's jacket on, and I was standing at the end of Oylston Street, just kind of overlooking.

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It looked like a war zone, and a reporter came up behind me, and he started tapping me on my shoulder.

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And he was like, hey, can I ask you a few questions?

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Can you tell me where you were at yesterday?

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Can you tell me about your experience?

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And Chris, I'm not kidding you.

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There was a voice in my head, a literal voice, and it said, it is not your story to tell.

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I never looked at that reporter.

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In turn, I walked away and went about my business.

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They say that I left Boston a participant, and I got home a spectator.

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What I mean by that is when I was in Boston, I knew that I had been part of something because you're in the energy of it.

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You're walking everywhere.

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You're seeing the National Guard.

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You're seeing just military everywhere and news vans everywhere, and so you're just really part of it.

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When I got back home, I ran a multimillion-dollar organization, and I had three young kids, and I was married, and I didn't have time to process because as a high-achieving, high-capacity individual, what happens is when something like that occurs, and I say that this is kind of that extreme example of the everyday occurrence, is when something like that happens, you feel like if anybody sees weakness, if you allow anybody to see a moment of vulnerability, everything's going to come out from underneath you.

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You're going to lose it all, so you hold it together in the best way that you possibly can, and you silence everything, and that's what I did.

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Literally the next day, went back to work, sat down, watched the news with my team.

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The moment they caught that second terrorist, we shut off the TV, and I went back to work.

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I was able to keep that up for about four months.

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By the end of that four months or into that four months, I went from running marathons to not being able to walk up a flight of stairs unassisted.

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I went doctor after doctor after doctor, kept being told I was depressed, ended up at Mayo Clinic, spent three days at Mayo Clinic trying to figure out what was going on because my body was breaking down.

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I stopped sleeping, and I'm not talking like I couldn't fall asleep or I'd wake up in the middle of the night.

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I literally stopped sleeping.

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Like I say, I couldn't walk up stairs.

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I had seizures standing up.

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My muscles would cramp so bad I wasn't able to sign checks in my business any longer.

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I had no clue that all of this stemmed from the experience that I had.

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We keep things separate.

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We think that they're compartmentalized.

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They're not.

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Everything overflows and weaves into the next.

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It wasn't until 2000, so this happened in 2013, I navigated so much from trying to heal my physical body in 2017, Chris.

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2017 is when I made that connection, and that's when I was able to heal.

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Four years.

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Four years.

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That's unbelievable.

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Yeah.

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You've said that for a long time you weren't living, you were just surviving.

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You just went through what those days were like for you physically and emotionally, but what were your day-to-day relationships with people closest to you like during that period?

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Well, one, nobody knew.

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Nobody knew what I was navigating.

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Now, my husband at the time had an idea of what I was navigating because I would call him from the conference room and have to have him come pick me up at the office because I had vertigo so bad that I didn't trust myself on my own two feet.

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Nobody in the office knew the depths of what was going on.

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Friends had an inkling, but quite honestly, Chris, once you get past about two, three months, people feel like we should be over it, right?

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I don't understand what's going on.

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Why can't you just get better?

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But everything continued to ebb away.

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I had social anxiety to a point where it was very hard for me to enjoy concerts or to be out or to go to dinner in the way that I had before.

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I was so confused and lost and struggling all at the same time.

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When we started this, I said, you know, transformations come through conversations.

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In 2014, so 13, I started visiting doctors, 14, I visited one particular one.

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And he said to me, he's like, well, he did the vitals.

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He's looking at my chart.

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He's somebody I found because it's one specialist I hadn't seen yet.

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And he says to me, he says, are you a runner?

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Well, yeah.

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Why?

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He goes, oh, well, because your heart rate's really low and I'm thinking, well, I hear that all the time.

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It's not a big deal.

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And he said, well, here's what I can tell you.

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He goes, I don't have anything that's going to be able to help you.

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I don't have anything in my toolkit.

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But what I can tell you is that you're not depressed.

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Because I've never known a runner to be depressed.

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That changed the game for me.

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Because he saw me for the first time.

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He saw beyond the chart.

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He saw beyond the thing that had been laid out in front of him.

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I had consultants, I had coaches in my business who never could see beyond the spreadsheet that sat in front of them.

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So they would come, were you able to accomplish?

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Did you do that marketing thing?

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You know, the P&L we were going to look at, did you do this?

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And I'd go, no, actually, I need to move that, you know, another couple of weeks or I wasn't able to do this.

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And nobody asked the question beyond the question.

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They stood at the surface.

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In 2014 is when I realized that I had to, one, do it myself.

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I had to figure this out because I was the only one who was going to be able to.

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And so I started getting curious about everything.

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And I started to listen to my intuition.

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So I would listen to podcasts, I would read books.

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And if I heard that thing three times, right, it would pop up here, pop up here.

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That last time I'd go, I think that's something that I need to look at.

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That's how I uncovered chronic Lyme disease, Hashimoto's, Epstein-Barr, like, that's how I was able to uncover kind of that physical manifestation of all of the things that had happened dramatically that I had caught emotionally in my body.

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And so I was able to heal enough from 14 to 16 to be able to function in a much better space.

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But once I made that connection, again, back to that trauma, that's where everything started to shift.

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So when you saw that doctor, that was your aha moment?

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It was an aha moment.

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It really was.

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It was that, and again, I go back to when I talk to individuals, you have all the answers in you.

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And that intuition, that kind of gut instinct that, you know what, I've heard that a couple of times.

217
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I think maybe I need to go take a look at that.

218
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I didn't ask for permission.

219
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In 2016, I had been seeing a doctor in Iowa, and she's the one who had found the chronic Lyme disease.

220
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Now, at the time, you could not treat nor diagnose that in the state of Iowa, or you would lose your license.

221
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So she took me on.

222
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We began treatments.

223
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I was doing heavy, heavy doses of antibiotics, and I did that for about three to four months, and my body started to say no.

224
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So I called her, and I said, look, I've been doing this for a period of time.

225
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I have so enjoyed working with you.

226
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I appreciate everything that you've done, but I need to move on and do something else.

227
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I immediately stopped the antibiotics because I listened to what my body was telling me.

228
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I listened to the intuition, and it guided me into that next step.

229
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That took me to a next layer of healing.

230
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So we all have that internally, and that's what that wake-up moment gave me.

231
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You've shared that trauma doesn't define you.

232
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It reveals you.

233
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Mm-hmm.

234
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Would you unpack what you mean by that, and how did trauma help you uncover something essential about yourself?

235
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That is such a layered question because the experiences that we have are so incredibly layered.

236
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I think what we tend to do is we tend to take an experience, whatever it is that we're navigating, and I'm going to call it kind of a misalignment because I think a lot of times people look at trauma, and they look for the big things.

237
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It's not always the big things.

238
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A lot of times, it's the small moments where we've stepped outside of what we know is best for us, where we have denied ourselves the opportunity to make a decision that we know we need to make because we feel like we need permission for it.

239
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It's in every single one of those moments that we have the opportunity to not be defined by that decision, by that experience, but we have the opportunity to understand more about ourselves by getting curious around what was that experience for me?

240
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Why is it that that experience is something that I needed to navigate?

241
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How is it that I felt when they said that thing to me?

242
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When I stepped into that meeting, and I got really upset with my team member because they were not doing the thing that I knew that they needed to do because they didn't listen to my direction, and I got so incredibly frustrated by it?

243
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In every single one of those moments, that's when we've got to ask the question, why did I get so frustrated?

244
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Because I'll tell you right now, it's not the person that's sitting in front of you.

245
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It's an experience that you've had somewhere along the way that has caused you to believe something about that moment, to have an expectation of what you should be in that moment or what they should be in that moment, which is causing you to have that frustration.

246
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:18,960
The more we can ask the questions around and have an awareness around, why am I thinking what I'm thinking?

247
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Why am I experiencing what I'm experiencing?

248
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Why am I feeling what I'm feeling?

249
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The more we can dive into that, the more we understand who we are at our core, what it is that we truly, truly value, and how it is that we get to navigate this life in a sense of ease and a sense of empowerment, which again, I also know is one of those words that everybody's using right now, like, let's be empowered.

250
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What the heck does that even mean?

251
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It means that I have the ability to know that I get to make a decision, period.

252
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I get to make a decision and be confident in that decision because I have clarity.

253
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I've removed all of the static of the emotion.

254
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I've removed the heaviness.

255
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,320
I've removed that knee jerk, right?

256
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Oh, I'm just done.

257
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And I was able to find a place of ease around it.

258
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So I don't know if that answers, but that's really just kind of what comes when you ask that question.

259
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Nope.

260
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That's super helpful.

261
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I appreciate that.

262
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:23,760
I'm also smiling as you're talking about the word empower, and this is the empowerment channel on the Voice of America network, so I just thought that was rather ironic.

263
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So Carrie, how can someone begin to reframe their trauma so they recognize it not as something they deserve or invited, but something that becomes a source of strength and part of, lack of a better phrase, a legacy of strength to pass on?

264
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I did, last year, I did a number of interviews with women who had graduated or who had been part of the Air Force Academy.

265
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And it was some of the most fulfilling work, just having conversations around the experiences that they had.

266
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And I know in a few of those conversations, we kind of, we dug into how did they navigate and how did they now look back and see some of those experiences that they had had.

267
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And I think it's never something that happens to you.

268
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And it's never an invitation, so to speak.

269
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But it is an experience that has the opportunity to transform and to change, not in a detrimental way, but really in, go back to that revealing way.

270
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Every single moment gives you the opportunity to find a greater sense of strength, of resilience, of identity, of value.

271
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And if we have the opportunity, I go back to that curiosity, because that curiosity in those times when we're feeling so incredibly out of alignment, knocked off, rug pulled out, if we can have a moment to ask the questions, to ask further than the surface, to go another layer deeper, then you will have the ability to see the true gift that has come to you.

272
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:35,040
And it's a matter of what am I experiencing?

273
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What am I feeling?

274
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And what is it that I could have potentially learned from that?

275
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Or how did that, could that have benefited me?

276
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Which I know makes a lot of people mad, because nobody wants to think that I benefited or learned anything, right?

277
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Didn't benefit me in any single way to have gone through that experience.

278
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When you can peel away the emotion around it, you will have and be able to find more clarity.

279
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:16,320
And sometimes, in order to have that discernment, to have a greater awareness, when I'm working with particular people, I'll go, okay, so let's say that you're best friend.

280
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Let's say that you're child.

281
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So we can always see it from the outside looking in.

282
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:26,000
You're watching somebody navigate the same thing over and over and over again, and they're so frustrated.

283
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,760
Why do I end up hiring the same person?

284
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,640
Why do I end up in the same relationship?

285
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:31,680
I don't understand.

286
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,360
Why do they keep showing up?

287
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,600
There's something for you in it.

288
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:42,880
And we can ask those questions, and you go, okay, so let's pretend that your child was navigating through.

289
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,320
What would you want them to know?

290
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,360
How would you want them to see themselves differently?

291
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:53,600
You'd want them to know that they are confident, that they have value, that they can trust themselves to make the right decision.

292
00:23:54,480 --> 00:24:06,320
When we can start to understand those things, that's when we really release the weight of the trauma, the weight of the experience, and we get to move forward.

293
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:11,840
Again, going back to that intuition and that leader that sits within each and every one of us.

294
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,320
Well, maybe as a follow-up to that, can resilience ever become a mask?

295
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,480
And by that, I mean, can appearing strong really be a way to avoid real healing?

296
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:21,120
Oh, yeah.

297
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,280
Oh, I was really good at that, Chris.

298
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:23,600
Come on.

299
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,200
Four years running.

300
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,480
Oh, buddy.

301
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,600
I've got stories upon stories that I could tell.

302
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,320
Yeah, because that's what we think resilience is, right?

303
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,480
Resilience is get up, brush it off, and keep moving forward.

304
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,560
This is what I was taught as a kid, right?

305
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:39,760
Doesn't hurt that bad.

306
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:40,640
Stop crying.

307
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:46,800
Somebody has it worse, and that's everything that that it's not your story to tell was telling me in that moment.

308
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,320
Somebody had it worse.

309
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,640
You didn't need to take up space.

310
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,480
Everybody else needed to have the platform to have the voice.

311
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,000
Somebody else needed to share.

312
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:05,680
And so I held strong, but it's kind of like that very rigid tree that stands, that wind hits and knocks it over.

313
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,720
This is why we have to have that vulnerability.

314
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:16,400
We have to peel away the layers of everything that we have built up on ourselves in order to be able to look like we've got it together.

315
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:28,560
When we can pull in vulnerability, we can allow ourselves, and I'm not talking the kind of vulnerability where you're sharing your stuff all around because you need validation for it.

316
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,720
I've seen speakers who do that, right?

317
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:38,960
I'm going to share with you my experience, and I'm going to pause in the moment so you can validate the experience back to me so I know that you know how bad I had it.

318
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,760
That's not the kind of vulnerability I'm talking about.

319
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,680
I'm talking about, look, this is the thing that I went through, and this is what it gave me.

320
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:47,840
This is what I learned from it.

321
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:54,880
And the vulnerability to be able to ask a question, I will strip down my own layers to be able to ask the questions.

322
00:25:55,120 --> 00:26:13,440
Resilience is the most courageous thing that you will ever do because you have to be vulnerable, you have to ask the questions, and then you have to know that the foundation you stand on is you, your value, period.

323
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:22,480
Because the more you try to reach out in that resilient state, in that I've got to hold it together state, when you hold it together, you do this.

324
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,120
You know what happens when I hold it together like this?

325
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,920
I'm holding everything else around me.

326
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,000
So I held tight to the business, to the family.

327
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:44,960
I constricted everything out of a sense of need to have to be in control to not lose whatever foundation I thought I had built underneath myself because I didn't trust myself to be it.

328
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:54,800
What beliefs or practices helped you sustain your resilience, and especially in the years when the world had moved on, but your healing was still continuing?

329
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,560
You know, I just love myself.

330
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:06,320
That's like the simplest answer, but I think, I'm going to use this example.

331
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:17,760
My son had an experience in a football game his senior year, and his captain of the football team, senior year, started both ways.

332
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,480
Gets a concussion, like, second quarter into the game.

333
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:28,960
I go down and talk to him, and he's like, mom, if we're down in the fourth quarter, I'm playing.

334
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:44,000
He had a fourth quarter goal, and he was going to do whatever it took, whatever he needed to do, whatever curiosity he needed to have in that moment in order to be able to overcome the experience he was having in order to be in that fourth quarter.

335
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,840
And I say that across the board.

336
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,560
You have to have a fourth quarter goal.

337
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:55,760
For me, I was not going to live an existence of illness.

338
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:03,840
I was not going to live an existence of insomnia where it took five prescription sleep medications to put me to bed.

339
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:10,960
I was not going to not be able to participate with my kids the way that I wanted to.

340
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,480
I wanted to be able to show up in all of the ways.

341
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:15,760
I had a fourth quarter goal.

342
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:19,280
When you have that fourth quarter goal, you're going to keep going.

343
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:20,480
You're going to keep moving.

344
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:21,520
You're going to keep searching.

345
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:28,480
I remember in 2016, I was at a conference because, again, I'm going to all the things and doing everything to try and figure this out.

346
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,800
And this gal says, I know this woman who does this thing.

347
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:31,520
You should call her.

348
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,040
And at this point, Chris, I'm like, I don't care if it's a voodoo dolls and needle.

349
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,000
Like, I don't care.

350
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:36,960
Give me the number.

351
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,400
I will call this person up.

352
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:40,320
And this is the gal.

353
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:46,480
I get her on the phone and she says, so what is it, you know, what is it that you're navigating?

354
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,240
And I kind of tell her a little bit.

355
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,520
And then I joke, I go, it's like, she goes, so tell me about your childhood.

356
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,640
And I'm thinking, I'm sorry, I'm here because I have Lyme disease.

357
00:28:55,680 --> 00:29:00,320
Give me some medication or if you could tell me, like, the thing that I need to physically do.

358
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,040
But that's when I started to put those pieces together.

359
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,120
Oh, everything emotionally that we trapped in.

360
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,280
Everything emotionally that we trapped.

361
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:17,360
The pain of silence that we experience because we refuse to speak up for ourselves is everything that we hold that manifests physically within our own bodies.

362
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,000
Well, that's good to tell you the next question.

363
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:21,680
You didn't just recover.

364
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,000
You transformed your pain into purpose.

365
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:24,480
Yeah.

366
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:29,520
What did that process require of you emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and even physically?

367
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,360
I have had to let go of a lot.

368
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,240
I've had to let go of everything I thought I knew.

369
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:51,360
I say that Boston, that finish line is the moment that my life path and my divine purpose collided.

370
00:29:52,400 --> 00:30:01,600
And sometimes we have to be shaken into the extreme in order to be able to wake up to ourselves because we walk around numb.

371
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:06,960
We walk around in the slow fade and we don't realize we're doing it.

372
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:15,920
It's like when you're just putting on little tiny, tiny bits of weight over a period of time, you don't realize it and you continue doing the things.

373
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,840
And then all of a sudden, one day you wake up and you're like, oh, how the hell did that happen?

374
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,600
And then you realize that you've got to make a shift or you've got to make a change.

375
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:38,880
And that's really what happened in that moment for me is that I hadn't been paying attention to all of the ways, to every whisper that was in my head that I would wake up in the morning and I would go, is this it?

376
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,240
Every day for the rest of my life, this is it.

377
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,960
And I would shut it down and I would get up and I'd go about my day.

378
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:53,680
Eventually, those whispers become screams and like the Christopher Lee two by four that comes and smacks you across the face, right?

379
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:59,760
Like if you don't pay attention in the slow fade, it is going to wake you up in those catalytic moments.

380
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:05,360
So let's ask the questions and let's allow ourselves to reveal the path.

381
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:12,080
But again, it takes an incredible amount of courage because there's a lot of thoughts in your head you don't want to hear, right?

382
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:17,120
So when you tell somebody, I want you to sit down, I want you to get curious or meditate.

383
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,480
Oh my God, you told me to meditate back in 2014.

384
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,880
I was like, no, thank you.

385
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,200
I don't, this, whatever's happening in my head, I don't want to hear it.

386
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,680
It is mean, it is vicious.

387
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:35,440
And so I'm going to keep moving my way and work my way beyond it and past it.

388
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,320
And all you do is dig a hole deeper for it.

389
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:50,880
So it takes a lot of courage and it takes the ability without judgment because there's been a lot of things that have come up that you would go, there is no way I would ever think that.

390
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:52,640
It's right there.

391
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:58,880
There is no way I would ever feel that way because we always try to pull ourselves up into righteousness.

392
00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:01,600
Well, what if?

393
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:03,920
I go, what if?

394
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,400
What if that was the case?

395
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,240
When would you do that?

396
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,960
And I play with it and I don't bring judgment to it.

397
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:20,240
And I allow the thought to take me to the next thought, to the next thought, because before you know it, you're going to be homeless in a box underneath a bridge.

398
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,080
That's where your brain's going to take you.

399
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,440
Allow it to go there.

400
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:29,680
And then that's the place that you can heal from, but nobody wants to take it that far.

401
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,240
That's what it takes.

402
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:37,360
And what has resilience made possible in your life that you won't have otherwise been able to achieve?

403
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,280
Well, I moved to Phoenix.

404
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:51,760
I will say it allows me to make decisions that otherwise I'd be too paralyzed, too frightened to make.

405
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,640
Because comfort's easy.

406
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,720
Staying the same is easy.

407
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:57,760
Staying in the same place.

408
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,600
I lived in Des Moines, Iowa.

409
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,280
I lived in Iowa for like 50 years.

410
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,240
Who does that?

411
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,720
Who picks up and moves across the country in June to Phoenix, Arizona, right?

412
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:07,680
Not a lot of people.

413
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,160
But that's what it has done.

414
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:20,480
Resilience allows me to know that I can get up and move and it's going to be hard in my head through a blessed fit.

415
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,600
Oh my gosh.

416
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:42,320
But I have enough awareness now that during that three to four days when it really went into a tirade, I knew that the only devastation, the only turmoil that I was feeling is from the thoughts in my head, not the reality that I was living.

417
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:51,920
Which gives me the ability to separate, to witness, throw your fit, do your thing, but we're going to keep moving.

418
00:33:52,160 --> 00:34:06,800
We're going to keep moving to the other side because now I have an awareness between the fear of the unknown and every moment that wants to hold you back and keep you comfortable and to be able to overcome it because I know that we can get to the other side.

419
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,240
I know that those thoughts are a temporary moment.

420
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,320
They just need addressed.

421
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:17,760
They just need a moment to speak and then you can get to the other side of it.

422
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:25,760
What simple habits or mindset shifts do you recommend to build emotional resilience on a daily basis or are there any simple habits?

423
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:28,560
Have compassion for yourself.

424
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:33,520
That's the first thing I would say is to have compassion for yourself.

425
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,360
I don't say meditate because you're not going to do it.

426
00:34:40,720 --> 00:34:49,520
I say that if you can give yourself three breaths for a pause, that is the most important that is the most amazing gift that you will ever give yourself.

427
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:57,360
If you're sitting and you're toiling with a decision, and I've had this happen multiple times, especially in the business that I had, right?

428
00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:58,800
Do I do this?

429
00:34:59,040 --> 00:34:59,600
Do I do that?

430
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:00,240
I don't know.

431
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,200
Which way do I go?

432
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:02,640
Do I keep them?

433
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:03,280
Do I release?

434
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,080
And spinning and spinning and spinning.

435
00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:09,440
What I learned was you've got two different things that are happening.

436
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:14,000
You've got the inner knowing and you've got the fear and they're battling for attention.

437
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,600
So I would close my eyes.

438
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:24,640
Yes, you can close your eyes and I would take three breaths, but I would focus on my heart space.

439
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:29,200
I would just focus on that breath, really feel the breath coming in.

440
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:38,240
I would do it three times and then I would ask the question and then I would allow it to come up.

441
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,880
And that's when the intuition can come forward.

442
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:55,440
If you take a pause and you allow yourself to breathe and you don't have to do it in the middle of a meeting, but you do have the opportunity to say this, you know what I'm processing through a lot of information right now.

443
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,840
I just need a moment and I'll let you know when I'm ready to have that conversation.

444
00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:12,640
Powerful pause, pull yourself out, get curious, ask the question, get rid of that emotional Get curious, ask the question, get rid of that emotional static and step back in with clarity.

445
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:14,960
That's how everything changes.

446
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:24,080
And if someone is in the messy middle, and by that I mean in between breakdown and breakthrough, what do you want them to know or remember about resilience?

447
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:50,400
That the more they understand who they are, the more they give themselves the opportunity in that messy middle to find themselves, to understand or to see the value of who they are, the more they're going to be able to move through it with ease.

448
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:59,200
When I talk to those women from the Air Force Academy, I would ask them because some of the situations they went through were, wow, is all I can say.

449
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,880
Like, wow.

450
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,680
And not just in the Air Force, but really throughout the course of life.

451
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,440
And I sat with two leaders specifically and I said, how did you do it?

452
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:14,080
How did you consistently overcome everything that you had been through?

453
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:25,360
And it was two women who had graduated in the 80s, partners, married, and living that entire life in the Air Force.

454
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,440
And I asked that, how did you do that?

455
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:30,480
And they said, you know what?

456
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,280
Because we always knew who we were.

457
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,320
At the end of the day, we always knew who we were.

458
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,600
And that's the thing that we consistently came back to.

459
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,520
Doesn't mean it didn't rock us.

460
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,200
Doesn't mean it wasn't hard.

461
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,400
But we always knew who we were.

462
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,640
And that's what got us through.

463
00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:59,520
You've said your biggest passion when it comes to work is developing leaders and, quote, bringing people back to the ability to trust their own inner wisdom.

464
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:05,680
You also believe we're in the midst of a leadership crisis and that, quote, we have to start navigating the world differently.

465
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,320
First, what's causing our leadership crisis?

466
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,120
And second, how should we start navigating the world differently?

467
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,680
Ooh, leadership.

468
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:14,560
This is fun.

469
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:15,920
This is a fun conversation.

470
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,120
I'll tell you why.

471
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:23,120
Because we have leaders leaving the workforce and like in the thousands every day.

472
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,360
And that's only if they get to leave or get to leave.

473
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:34,320
OK, so there's individuals who are wanting to retire, boomers who are wanting to retire that the organizations are saying can't let you.

474
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:39,360
We can't let you because we don't have the leaders behind you to be able to fill your space.

475
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,120
So we need you an extra six months.

476
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,560
We're going to need you an extra year.

477
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:48,320
So one, two, we don't even understand what leadership is anymore.

478
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,760
We think that leadership is commanding from out front.

479
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,760
And leadership is being within.

480
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,040
Leadership is guiding.

481
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,360
Not only yourself, but the people around you simply by the way you move.

482
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:13,520
Simply from the presence that you carry and your own ability to trust the moves that you make.

483
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:19,200
It's coming into alignment with the genius of who you are.

484
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:31,200
We all have these particular makeups of what makes us incredible human beings in who you are in this lifetime.

485
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,080
Like this is what you get to bring into the world.

486
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:36,800
And this is what we get to experience of you.

487
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:42,000
When you understand that of yourself, you can see that in other people.

488
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,920
But if we're doing performative based leadership.

489
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:51,280
Then we are proven driven and we are not passion driven.

490
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:56,080
And we need to come back to a place of being passion driven.

491
00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,240
Because you're not supposed to have to prove anything.

492
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:11,360
When you understand this is the gift that I have and this is what it is that I get to bring into the world, that I get to bring into this organization, that I get to share in my family.

493
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,360
Then we're not pulling ourselves out of alignment.

494
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:21,520
Because when you pull yourself out of alignment, if you're trying to do things that don't fit in that genius.

495
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:26,640
For me, I had to tell my team, I'm good for about 45 minutes in a meeting.

496
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,560
Because after about 45 minutes, dude, I'm gone, right?

497
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,840
I don't read pages of emails.

498
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,080
You have to give me bullet points.

499
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,760
I am a outside networker.

500
00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:42,240
I am really good in front of people.

501
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:45,040
Do not sit me behind a computer all day long.

502
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:46,480
I do not function well.

503
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,040
I am not your spreadsheet person.

504
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:49,280
I'm not.

505
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,360
But it's taken me a while to figure that out.

506
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,600
But it's taken me a while to figure that out.

507
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:58,960
Because I would step into those roles in order to prove that I was valuable, that you needed me, right?

508
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,960
And every time I do that, I stretch myself out.

509
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,520
And that's when the shadows come forward.

510
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:11,280
That's when we start to respond to things reactively and not proactively.

511
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:12,960
We don't take the moment of presence.

512
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,040
Because again, we're just trying to prove it.

513
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,360
We can step back into passion.

514
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,080
We can step back into this is who I am.

515
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:21,840
And this is what I get to bring forward.

516
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:23,600
And this is what you get to bring forward.

517
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,000
Now, I can lead from where I am.

518
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,360
And you can lead from where you are.

519
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:28,720
And we can come in the middle.

520
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,360
And innovation and clarity are going to spur forward.

521
00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,720
That's the kind of leadership that we need now.

522
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:40,480
Not the kind of top-down, hierarchical, this person leads this person leads this person.

523
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,880
And then you do the thing that I tell you to do.

524
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,200
We can't do that anymore.

525
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:46,880
The new generation doesn't want it.

526
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:50,880
I love that you used the words passion and purpose.

527
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:53,680
That's on the homepage of our website.

528
00:41:53,840 --> 00:42:00,480
And those are the types of conversations we like to have is that without passion, you're not gonna know what your purpose is and vice versa.

529
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,040
And so I appreciate you sharing that.

530
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,760
Maybe part two on this generational change in the workplace.

531
00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:11,680
You believe that we're in a pivotal time in history for that change in the workplace.

532
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,920
And how this new generation of workers approaches work and life and expects to be treated.

533
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,920
What makes this moment so unique?

534
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,640
And what do you see changing most dramatically between generations?

535
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:27,760
You know, what's incredibly unique about this time is this is the first time in history where we have five generations in the workforce at the same time.

536
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:29,440
That's something.

537
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:31,120
Five generations.

538
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,680
Now try to navigate that, right?

539
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:43,120
Try to navigate how every different generation operates and functions and what it is that they appreciate.

540
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:48,000
What it is that they expect and how it is that they want to be seen or how they want to show up.

541
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,920
Every generation has gone through something.

542
00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:53,840
Every generation has.

543
00:42:54,880 --> 00:43:06,160
And so even, you know, the pandemic and creating the shifts that the pandemic created just in the way that we operate in business.

544
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,560
Like we don't go to the office like we used to.

545
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,960
People are virtual more than they ever have been.

546
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,640
Zoom calls are the norm.

547
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:14,720
Where before it was like, oh my gosh, let's go.

548
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:15,360
Let's meet up.

549
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:16,160
Let's do this thing.

550
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:23,840
So we've all kind of navigated different elements within our own eras, so to speak.

551
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,040
And we all appreciate different things and we work in different ways.

552
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:46,320
And the first issue that I see in leadership is that the generations of the work and the loyalty and the legacy and you stay in the organization for 30, 40, 50 years because that's what you do and you show up and you work as hard as you can and then you leave and right and you go home.

553
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,960
That's not the way that we operate anymore.

554
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,960
But that generation has that expectation because that's what they know.

555
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:54,880
And that's all they know.

556
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,280
Where the younger generations don't care.

557
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,800
I'm not going to work myself to a bone.

558
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:06,320
I am not going to sacrifice myself for you or for your organization.

559
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:14,560
I will come in and I will do the thing that means the most to me because I'm passionate about it, because I want to be purpose oriented.

560
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,040
That's what this newer generation is looking for.

561
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:18,160
I don't care about money.

562
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:19,120
They do.

563
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:20,400
Don't get me wrong.

564
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:36,000
But at the same point, they would much rather do work that means something to them where they feel seen, where they feel valued, where they feel like they are making a contribution as opposed to just coming in and doing the thing that's sitting in front of them.

565
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:40,160
So there's a huge difference there.

566
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:55,440
But again, I go back to when we don't understand how it is that we operate, when you don't understand that my generation, the Gen X, we got the work ethic and we're going to show up and we're going to do the thing and we're going to get gritty and we're going to get dirty and we're going to figure it out.

567
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:56,000
Right.

568
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,800
Because this is just what we did and we're very independent.

569
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,600
We're going to do it on our own because we were out till 1030 at night.

570
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:02,640
Didn't have to be home free.

571
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,440
Like when we understand that's the way I operate.

572
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:09,440
That is not the way my children operate at all.

573
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:18,320
When I understand that I can shift and I can see them for who they are and I can have a different conversation.

574
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,440
I can honor them in the space where they are.

575
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:27,360
I can give them the freedom and then also still have the expectation of the work.

576
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,360
But I hit it from a passion.

577
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:34,000
And this is how it is affecting the mission of the organization overall.

578
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:36,800
Then you get the buy-in.

579
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,360
Birds of a feather right here between you and me and how our kids are.

580
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,000
So I totally understand the story there.

581
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:49,040
When you have workshops, you ask people if they think leaders are made or born.

582
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:54,960
And I think what most of them say is interesting, but I'm fascinated by what you tell them and the reason behind your answer.

583
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,040
So what did they usually say?

584
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:58,560
And then what do you say?

585
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:03,680
Well, especially if you ask older generations, I mean, leaders are made.

586
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:05,680
Leaders are made.

587
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,280
This is what you have to learn, the leadership.

588
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:18,640
You take the courses and you go through and you learn and your grit and your experience, this is how you become a leader.

589
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,000
Every single person is a leader.

590
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:28,960
This is where I go back to like we've shifted the definition to mean leadership is something outside of self.

591
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:37,520
Leadership is something that I have to earn as opposed to something that I already am.

592
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,480
We lead ourselves every single day.

593
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,400
When you're born, you don't know how to walk.

594
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:48,560
You got to figure it out.

595
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:56,240
And yes, you've got people that are modeling it for you, but nobody can do it for you.

596
00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:05,840
And that mentoring comes from witnessing, witnessing how they behave, not what they tell you, but witnessing.

597
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:10,640
And then you stand up, you fall down, you stand up, you fall down.

598
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:17,840
You continue to do that until you finally figure out I can stand and now I can walk.

599
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:19,280
That's a leader.

600
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,320
Everybody is a leader.

601
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:39,920
But when we don't see ourselves that way and we expect the leadership to come from somebody else, and again, it falls back into that vicious cycle of I need permission and I need to prove and I become performative in order to be able to earn.

602
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:51,920
And I don't give myself the ability to have the voice that I need in the meeting to speak up when I know that there's something that could be done, when I know there's a different when I know there's a different direction that could be taken.

603
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,480
Because again, I don't have that leader title.

604
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,760
Let's talk about another way that you have channeled your pain into a purpose.

605
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:04,960
You created the Ripples of Change Foundation with the goal of helping others transform trauma into triumph.

606
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,000
How does the foundation embody and execute that mission?

607
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:18,800
Well, that was a big reason for the interviews that we did through Ripples of Change for those women, part of the Air Force Academy.

608
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:20,880
So they're in the process of writing a book.

609
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:27,600
The academies are coming up on their 50-year anniversary in 2026 of having women be part of them.

610
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:40,000
And when I was speaking with the head writer of that book, I go back to we can have vulnerability and we can share from a space of trauma or we can share from a space of power.

611
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:51,440
And the only way that you are going to truly be able to affect change and to inspire others is to share from that position of power.

612
00:48:53,200 --> 00:49:10,560
And a lot of these women, again, had navigated some pretty difficult, very difficult experiences in the Air Force or in the Academy and wanted to bring that forward but did not want this to be a trauma book.

613
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:16,960
Like nobody wants to come forward and just share, oh, these are the things that happened and feel sorry for us and feel bad.

614
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:33,920
But how is it that we could bring forward the information in order to help others be able to reclaim their own voices, be able to reclaim their own experience in a way that gives them hope that they can come to the other side of this?

615
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:47,120
Because there are still many women who navigated this in the 80s, and I am sure beyond, that physical manifestation of that trauma is still gripping hold of them.

616
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,240
Because again, they did not have permission to speak.

617
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:55,360
They did not have the ability to be vulnerable or to have a voice.

618
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,240
And any time that they did have a voice, it was shut down.

619
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:02,320
And so we wanted to give them that space to be able to speak.

620
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:17,040
And we wanted to help them from that space of curiosity to be able to ask the questions and to find the purpose in it so that they could reclaim themselves through it.

621
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:24,720
How can people in our audience get involved in the Ripples for Change Foundation, either supporting a mission or seeking healing for themselves?

622
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:27,840
Oh, gosh.

623
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:43,760
You know, we are consistently looking at resources to bring forward to help people to be able to have the conversation, to have and host events, to share stories so that other people can see themselves in it.

624
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:50,480
Again, it's hard when you're in that slow fade, when you feel like somebody has it worse to be able to see yourself.

625
00:50:50,640 --> 00:51:00,080
And so we love to have the conversations to share around this is what I've experienced, and this is how I got to the other side of it.

626
00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:01,600
Because there's just glimmers.

627
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:07,120
And you can grab onto that and you go, oh, my gosh, if they did, I can now see mine.

628
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:15,600
And what's always fascinating to me is the way that we see our own experiences as that medium.

629
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:16,880
I didn't have it that bad.

630
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:23,200
And then I will hear, they'll share, and my mouth drops.

631
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,680
And I'm like, I'm sorry, what?

632
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:32,400
Like, if you were to share that with anybody in the world, they'd be like, how did you navigate that?

633
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:34,960
How did you get to the other side of that?

634
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,280
So we want to bring forward the voice.

635
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:42,320
So for people to get involved, we're always looking for, of course, financial support.

636
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:52,000
We're looking for resource support and just education to be able to share that we do exist.

637
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,480
So those would be the ways.

638
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,960
And Carrie, I know we could keep going on for another hour, but we have just a few minutes left.

639
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,200
Would you please tell us how people can get in touch with you?

640
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:02,320
Oh, gosh.

641
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:06,960
Well, some of the fun things that we have going on, Kinza Collective.

642
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:15,440
Kinza is the organization where we really are working with those high-capacity women to navigate the big transitions.

643
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:22,960
So it could be in transitions, scaling, exiting, whatever it is that they're doing in their life or business.

644
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:26,000
We help them to be able to navigate that, and that's through Kinza.

645
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:31,200
So you can find me, Carrie, at CarrieKenzie.com.

646
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:36,720
You can find me at CarrieKenzieKinza.com or KinzaCollective.com.

647
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,520
So there's a number of different ways that you can get in touch with me.

648
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:54,080
I would say the best right now is to go follow Carrie Kenzie or Ripples of Change Foundation, because you're going to be able to find all of the resources, what it is that we're sharing, and then how it is that you can get involved.

649
00:52:54,880 --> 00:53:01,840
Carrie Kenzie, executive coach, founder of the Ripples for Change Foundation, and host of the Curiosity, Clarity, Empowerment podcast.

650
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,600
Thank you so much for being with us today.

651
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,280
Chris, it was a pleasure.

652
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:05,840
Thanks so much.

653
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:10,000
No, it was my pleasure and honor, and I got through about half of my notes, so you have to come back.

654
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:12,160
Absolutely.

655
00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:12,800
Enjoyed it.

656
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:13,760
No, thank you.

657
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:14,880
I'm Chris Meek.

658
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:15,360
We're out of time.

659
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,200
We'll see you next week, same time, same place.

660
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,720
Until then, stay safe and keep taking your next steps forward.

661
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,160
Thanks for tuning in to Next Steps Forward.

662
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:38,320
Be sure to join Chris Meek for another great show next Tuesday at 10 a.m. Pacific time and 1 p.m. Eastern time on the Voice America Empowerment Channel.

663
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,360
This week, make things happen in your life.