Unstoppable Grit w/ Danielle Cobo

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There are few things that make people successful.

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Taking a step forward to change their lives is one successful trait, but it takes some

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time to get there.

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How do you move forward to greet the success that awaits you?

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Welcome to Next Steps Forward with host Chris Meek.

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Each week, Chris brings on another guest who has successfully taken the next steps forward.

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Now here is Chris Meek.

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Hello, I'm Chris Meek, and you've tuned to this week's episode of Next Steps Forward.

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As always, it's a pleasure to have you with us.

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Our special guest today is Danielle Cobo.

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Danielle is a former Fortune 500 Senior Sales Manager, and she's renowned for empowering

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individuals with the grit, resilience, and courage to thrive professionally and personally.

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With more than 15 years of corporate experience, she knows how to build high-performing teams

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that increase sales, productivity, and employee retention.

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Even amid the upheaval of downsizing, restructuring, and acquisitions, she propelled her team to

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a number one national ranking.

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Her resiliency motored her to earn four consecutive National Sales Excellence Awards.

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Danielle is also the best-selling author of Unstoppable Grit and hosts the globally top-rated

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podcast Unstoppable Grit Podcast.

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Danielle Cobo, welcome to Next Steps Forward.

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Thanks for having me, Chris.

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I'm excited to be on the podcast.

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Thanks for your time.

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We know how busy you are, so I really appreciate it.

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Danielle, you're a former Fortune 500 Senior Sales Manager and a four-time National Sales

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Excellence Award winner.

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Successful salespeople are made and not born.

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How were you made into one, and how did you make others into successful salespeople?

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Ooh, great question.

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So you're right.

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I believe that there's innate characteristics that are within us, and then there's a lot

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of characteristics that are nurtured over time.

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And for me, I was very blessed to have a mother who role-modeled grit and perseverance and

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determination for me.

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So I believe a lot of my upbringing played a critical role in what developed the grit

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and helped me succeed long-term in my career.

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My mom was a single mom when I was five years old, and she was going to school to get her

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bachelor's degree while working.

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And I saw her tenacity and I saw her perseverance in seeing that if you really have a goal and

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you take the steps and work the goal and persevere through even some of the challenges and look

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at what are the areas you can control and maybe focus on those areas versus the areas

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that you can't control, how can you learn and grow and be a better person for tomorrow?

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And so I believe that a lot of my grit came directly from my mom.

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When it comes to helping other individuals achieve their goals, it's first tapping into

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understanding what their motivators are.

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And a lot of times, you know, we talk about, well, what motivates me is, you know, providing

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for my family.

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But what is it about providing for your family that motivates you?

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And how does that play a critical role in helping you thrive professionally and personally?

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You know, I think we were meant to be in a podcast together today.

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I'm also an only child from a single mom, single at age two.

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She went back to school after divorce and got her bachelor's, her master's, and was

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working on her doctorate until she passed away.

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And my listeners have heard the phrase that she basically instilled in me is, we might

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not be able to change the world today, but we can change the world around us.

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So I love the unstoppable grit.

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We're gonna get into that a little bit later in the show, but I'm glad you're here today

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so we got a lot to talk about.

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So many people look down their noses at salespeople and they insist they'd never get into sales.

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Yet we all sell every day.

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We have to sell.

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Kids sell to parents and letting them go out, stay up late or borrow the car.

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We have to sell the kids and getting out of bed and going to school the next morning after

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they stay up late.

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I have to sell my wife and trying a new restaurant.

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We definitely have to sell the boss and our ideas.

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Why do people have such a negative attitude about salespeople?

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And how can the profession do a better job of selling itself?

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You're right.

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There are so many misconceptions, I believe, or assumptions, or this idea of what we believe

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salespeople are.

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And a lot of that comes from movies like Wolf of Wall Street or the slime car salesperson

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that's trying to get one over you.

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But I believe just like you, that we're all in sales.

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You're in customer service and your goal is to earn the trust of the customer to either

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have them not go to a competitor and continue to do business with you.

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If you're in a leadership role, you're selling yourself on why you're going to be sharing

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the vision of the future of the organization and how does that align with the team's goals.

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And you're selling that to the team.

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To me, I don't look at sales as I'm selling a widget.

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Sales and a lot of the sales trainings that I teach is about understanding the individual

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customer.

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What are their challenges?

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And what are some different ways that whatever your product offers is providing value to

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that customer?

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So it's...

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And I almost don't even call my sales...

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When I was a sales leader, I didn't call them sales reps.

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I called them consultants.

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Because ultimately, if you're taking the approach of understanding, here's the challenges and

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the pain points of that particular customer, and you're asking thought-provoking questions

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to uncover what those pain points are, then you're really putting your consultant hat

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on and helping that customer understand different processes or products that they can implement

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into their business that are going to help the business overall improve.

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And that's more of a consultative approach than it is just selling a product.

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But yeah, it's interesting.

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All of us are in sales.

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We're all negotiators.

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My kids...

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I believe my kids are pretty good negotiators, but they're also trying to sell me and I'm

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a little better than them.

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But they still win me over sometimes.

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They stay up late or do things like that.

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I love the word consultant because I wasn't going to mention the consultative sales process.

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And that's what we're getting more and more into.

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And I've also said on the show many times that God gave us two ears and one mouth and

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close your mouth and listen with your ears.

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And so that just helps that whole sales process there.

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What advice do you have for someone considering a job or a career in sales?

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I would first look at...

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So one of the exercises that I talk about in my book, Unstoppable Grit, is getting clarity

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on what you enjoy doing.

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And one of those exercises is take a piece of paper, a white piece of paper, and on one

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side of the piece of paper, you have your white piece of paper and then you have your

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resume.

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And look at every single role that you've had throughout your career and look at on

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the left side of that white piece of paper, what did you love about each of those roles?

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What were the roles and responsibilities that you loved in each of the roles that you've

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had throughout your career?

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What is it that you enjoyed about the leadership team?

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The people that you enjoyed working with, the colleagues that you enjoyed working with?

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And then on the right hand side, what did you not like about that particular job and

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the people that you worked with?

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And I believe that that will help you gain clarity on what roles and responsibilities

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that you like, you don't like, and that's going to help determine if you're going to

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be going into sales or not.

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Sales is the type of characteristics that I look for in a sales professional and what

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leads to success is, do they have grit?

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Do they have the passion and perseverance towards long-term goals?

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Because the reality is, you're going to get more nos than you are yeses.

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Are you adaptable?

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And understanding that a lot of times you may go into your week with a plan, but then

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you've got fires that pop up out of nowhere and you're trying to navigate through which

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direction to go.

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And then the other is, do you like spending time asking questions and listening and being

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a problem solver and solution oriented?

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And are you more of that extrovert type personality as well?

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So when I'm working with individuals, we'll look at, we'll do disk personality assessments,

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we'll go through their current job.

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I'll give one example.

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My husband was in sales for a long time.

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We grew up in a pretty affluent area.

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I did not grow up in an affluent home, but I happened to be raised in an affluent area.

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And he was constantly getting into sales because he was chasing the dollar.

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Because yes, sales can be a very lucrative career and it can provide a lot of resources

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for you.

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However, he wasn't really fulfilled.

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He realized that that was not a fulfilling career for him.

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And so after us having some very candid and deep conversations at the age of 32 years

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old, he quit his job in sales and joined the military at 32 years old, which is complete

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opposite of sales.

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I want to say opposite of sales because we all do sales, but not your traditional, I

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guess, sales approach.

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So the best advice that I would give is really gain some clarity on what you enjoy doing.

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Don't so much chase the title, but look at the roles and responsibilities and job description.

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Is that something that you enjoy doing?

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We're going to get into your husband's transition a little bit later in the show, but I love

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what you just mentioned about how you're going to get more no's than yeses.

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My listeners, I'm a huge sports fan, and if you're a major league baseball player, you're

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in the hall of fame if you're successful 30% of the time.

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And as a salesperson, you just have to remember, don't take it personally.

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It's not you.

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It's the product or they have another alternative mousetrap or something like that.

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So just keep that in the back of your mind that it's not you.

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Don't take it personally.

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It's just part of the job.

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And so I'm glad you raised that.

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You decided to go out on your own when a series of events came at you in rapid succession

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in a six month period.

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And that's when you decided in your own words that, quote, life has a way of pushing us

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to our limit.

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And sometimes in those moments and trials, growth and transformation occur.

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What pushed you to your limits and how did you grow and transform?

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Oh yeah.

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So it was 2020 was the year for many of us, the year of change, the year of trials and

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tribulations and change and really pushing us to the limit and figuring and, and, and

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kind of figuring out what this next phase of our life is going to look like.

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For me, 2020 started with my husband returning home from a deployment.

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He had in 2019, he was deployed for a year.

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Our twins at the time, our twin boys were between the ages of one and a half and two

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and a half.

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So when they, when he left, they were learning to walk, they were saying their first words,

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they were in a crib and all of a sudden he comes home from serving a year deployment

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in Iraq where he's being a directive soldier officer and telling people where to go in

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high stakes situations.

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And he's comes home to these two and a half year old twin boys who are formulating complaint

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and sentences, who have opinions, who are throwing temper tantrums, who are sleeping

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in toddler beds.

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And as difficult as it was for him while he was away, because it was very demanding on

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me in the sense of, you know, the worry is if, if he, is he going to be okay?

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Is he going to come home safe and, you know, leading a team across five states while being

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the primary caregiver of our kids, the transition of him coming home was very difficult.

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It was, I was used to parenting one way, he had a different style.

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He was trying to get to know our kids since he'd been gone for half their life.

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And that took some time.

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So that was a big change for us.

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And then as we started to find our rhythm, March 8th, I, my mom had passed away unexpectedly

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and she had passed away from suicide.

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And so it was very, I mean, there, there had been some incidents in the past where I had

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known that this could have been a possibility that it was going to, that it was going to

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happen.

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Of course, anytime that somebody's life is taken by suicide, there's just, it's hard

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to really comprehend the pain that goes into that.

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And so as I was finding a way to cope with the passing of my mom, a week later, the pandemic

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hit.

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And so I wasn't able to fly back to California and go take care of my mom's things.

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I had to do everything remotely.

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And there was a lot of uncertainty around the pandemic too, you know, everything had

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been shut down.

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We didn't know, are we going to have a job or are we not going to have a job?

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Are we going to furloughed?

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So the stress of that, but it ended up happening that the company that I was with had been

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acquired by a larger organization, like a top 10 pharmaceutical company.

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And the culture shifted a lot and it became a very toxic, toxic work environment.

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In fact, many people from the organization has since left.

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And so all of these things happened in then a six month period.

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And it really was that time in my life where I looked at the mirror and looked at myself

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and said, first off, I had left the company I'd been with for seven years and I have like

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felt lost and confused.

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I had tied my identity to my career and I'm like, who am I and what do I want to do next?

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And that was a point where I believe like after that, I looked back at that experience

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and as much as it was difficult at the time, I was suffering from panic attacks and uncertainty.

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It was probably the best blessing that I could have ever had because I wouldn't have known

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what was possible for my life if I wasn't kind of, if God hadn't shut that door and

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redirect me to something greater.

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Way off topic here, but you're the poster child of an unstoppable grit.

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As you went through that March 8th, 2020 situation, obviously the terrible event with your mother,

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with the change in the job, how was your personal wellbeing and mental health?

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Great question.

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Because to be very transparent, because I believe that there's value in really peeling

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back the onion and letting people see who you really are.

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What you see on social media isn't always what happens behind the scenes.

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And in that moment, I was depressed.

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I was having panic attacks which were so debilitating, I felt like I couldn't get out of bed.

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Because of my upbringing and my mom and I had a beautiful and a very broken relationship,

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there was a lot of turmoil in our relationship throughout my upbringing because of mental

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health that was in our family.

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And so I tie, I put a lot of emphasis on my income because to me, income is security,

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income is safety, income is like my independence.

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And so when that was stripped away and I'd left the company, it really just, it shocked

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my world.

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So I would say it was a good six months of anxiety and panic and trying everything that

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I could to kind of pull myself together and figure out what I wanted to do.

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And what happened to pull you through the other side there to get you past that six

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months of the panic attack and not getting out of bed?

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Yeah.

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So one of the, and I talk about this in the book, but when my mom had passed away, I was

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tasked with writing her obituary.

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And that was a really interesting and reflective experience for me because on one hand, I really

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wanted to do my mom justice in providing something that captured the beauty of her life.

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And then it started for me to really think about, well, when it comes time for me to

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pass, what do I want people to say about me?

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And the reality is, I don't want people to say she was a hard worker and she stayed late

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hours and I can always count on her to get the job done.

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That's not what I want to be known for.

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And so what I did was, at that time, my self-confidence had been affected a lot and I didn't really

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know who I was.

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So I went on Facebook and I said, if there was two words that you can use to describe

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me, what would it be?

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And my comments got flooded in and it was like gritty, perseverance, determined, inspiring,

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impactful, empowering.

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And so I took those words and I wrote my own obituary from the perspective of my family

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members and a perspective of my colleagues.

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And what that did was, is it provided me a guiding light as to whatever decision I made

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from then forward, whatever company I work with or a business that I started or decision

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that I make, how does that align with the person that I want to be known for, the impact

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that I want to make?

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And that became the guiding light because impact was one of those words that came out

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of it.

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And to me, that's kind of what started this journey of how can I make a greater impact

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in the world?

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And that's what started this.

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I started to do career coaching.

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I started to get more involved in my church.

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I started to do more volunteer work.

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I signed up to be a homeroom parent at my kid's school.

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And what I found is, is that has been so much more fulfilling than the late hours that I

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spent at work because I'm, everything that I do is more about impact and, and it's been,

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it's been an amazing experience, but I would encourage anybody, I know it's kind of an

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odd exercise to do and, but I would encourage everybody to do that exercise of write your

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own obituary and have that be an opportunity to understand like, what are your core values?

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What do you want to be known for?

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And let that be the guiding light for yourself.

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That's a pretty gutsy thing to do, to put on social media, give two words to describe

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what you think of me.

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I'd be afraid to see what my responses would be.

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So I give you a lot of credit for doing that.

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And I love how you're talking about it, it's, you know, what's it going to be when my journey

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here is done?

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How are people going to look back at me?

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And I'm a huge country music fan.

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And Tim McGraw has this song that talks about, are they going to judge you by your possessions

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or how many lights are in your procession?

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And that I think sums it all up.

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And maybe as a follow-up to that, how much of your exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed

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were due to your husband's deployment and mom's passing, and how much did job burnout

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contribute to those feelings?

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So burnout is one of those, I would say I have experienced burnout on multiple occasions

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through my life.

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But I am a firm believer that there's a lot of people in this world that choose to live

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in chaos.

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There's a lot of people in this world that just choose to live in this, I'm busy.

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And so, and it's not a comparison of like who's busier than the other, but ultimately

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I believe it's a mindset.

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I know some people that they're constantly, I'm so busy, I'm so busy.

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And I'm like, wait a minute, you're retired and you're volunteering.

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And I'm running a business, have seven-year-old twins, volunteer at my church.

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My kids play baseball.

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I'm a homeroom parent, but I don't feel busy.

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I say my schedule is full.

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I say this is, I'm in control of my own schedule.

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I'm in control of what goes on it.

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And so I can choose what goes on it and what doesn't go on it.

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And if it gets to the point where I'm feeling overwhelmed, then it's an opportunity to re-look

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at my schedule and be like, really, where do my priorities lie?

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And where can I set some better boundaries?

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So there have been many times where I have experienced burnout.

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There have been many times where I have gone through depression, but I'm able to recognize

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in those moments, okay, wow, I am burnt out or A, I'm going through depression.

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Now I'm going to sit down in a quiet room.

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I'm going to get conclarity as to what's contributing to it.

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And then specifically, what steps can I take to change the outcome?

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Because I don't want to perpetually be in that situation.

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And we all have the ability to take control and make changes.

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It's just a matter of, are you willing to do it?

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And are you willing to look at and also view your life in a different mindset?

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How do you help clients recognize when they're experiencing burnout instead of just dealing

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with normal stress?

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So stress is kind of one of those things.

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It could be a temporary maybe, like there's never this, you know, people will say work-life

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balance.

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I don't believe that work-life balance is, I have personal life 50% of the time and I

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have work 50% of the time.

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No, there's some days that I spend more time at work and there's some days I spend more

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time with my kids.

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To me, work-life balance is, do you feel balanced in your life?

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It's more of a feeling.

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Do you feel balanced?

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There are going to be times where you've got peaks and valleys throughout your life that

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are more stressful than others given different circumstances.

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But if you're finding yourself in a perpetual stress overwhelm, that can lead to burnout.

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And the burnout is, it gets to a point where there's like anxiety attacks, it gets to the

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point where you don't have motivation to go to work or do fun things.

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That's when it really gets to the burnout state.

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And are there some key strategies to recover from burnout?

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Mm-hmm.

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Is there a typical recovery time?

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Any suggestions on that?

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Say that question again?

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Are there some key strategies to recover from burnout?

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Yeah.

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So the first time when you're experiencing, when you're experiencing burnout, first you

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want to recognize the signs.

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So there's the physical signs and there's the emotional signs of burnout.

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One of the things that I do is ways that we can increase our self-awareness on burnout

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are looking at the physical signs.

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So in the book, I talk about the body check.

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And that is stand in front of a mirror and your body communicates to you when you are

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burnt out.

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It's just a matter of are we paying attention to it?

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And so some of the physical signs are, is your hair thinning?

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Is it falling out?

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Is it dull?

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Is it lifeless?

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Those could be signs of burnout.

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Does your face, are you having acne?

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Are you having breakouts?

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For me, every third quarter when I was in sales, capital equipment sales, I would break

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out in hives because that was always our slowest quarter and still had a high quota.

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So that is definitely a sign of burnout and stress that I should have recognized early

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on, but I was just young and naive and just wanted to power through.

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You know, are you tense in your shoulders and your neck that are causing an increase

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in migraines?

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Are you having a hard time digesting your food?

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So those are all the physical signs of burnout.

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And then the emotional signs of burnout could be irritability, could be mood swings, could

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be lack of motivation, could be sadness, depression.

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So there's definitely the physical and the emotional signs.

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And it's just a matter of like, are you taking time throughout your day to pause and check

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in with yourself?

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And when you check in with yourself and you have the self-awareness to know what those

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signs are, that's when you can then take action to make the changes to improve your life.

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So say someone's burned out, they come to you.

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How do you help reignite someone's passion and purpose in their work?

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Well, first I would want to find out the source of their burnout.

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So a lot of times it's kind of like, walk me through your typical day.

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Walk me through what are the tasks or events that you have that are draining to you?

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Or when you find yourself irritated, what causes that irritation?

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I first want to know what the source of the burnout is so that we can make some tweaks

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to get some better balance.

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I definitely, in the book and then also in a lot of my workshops, I talk about time management.

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I'm a big believer and there's different tweaks that we can do within our lives to create

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better time management and streamline processes for ourselves.

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To uncover somebody's motivation, it's a lot of just getting to know the person.

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I say, whether it's a friend, actually no, as a leader, we can also be our colleagues'

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friends and put your curiosity hat on and ask some questions.

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Tell me a little bit about your upbringing.

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Tell me a little bit about how you spend your weekends.

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If I know, for example, that a member on my team, they are spending their weekends

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at the baseball field with their kids, that's a good indicator that one of the things that

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00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,880
motivates them as to why they work is because they want to be able to pay for their kids'

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batting cage practices and to pay for their sports.

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So I'd say that is just be curious, ask thought-provoking questions, get to know the person, who they

404
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are, not what they do.

405
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,040
I'm laughing.

406
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,040
You're talking about batting cages.

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My wife and I have a 12-year-old son, so that's exactly what my bank statement looks like

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right now is the travel baseball team and the batting and pitching, and so I can actually

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relate to that.

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00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:40,560
Your bestselling book and your podcast are both titled Unstoppable Grit.

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How do you personally define grit and when did you decide that grit, unstoppable grit,

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is a critical trait for achieving long-term success?

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So there was a TED Talk that I watched, and it was by Angela Duckworth, and I felt like

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she really captured how I was feeling most of my life, and that was she did research

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and she found that IQ was not necessarily the indicator of success.

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It was passion and perseverance towards long-term goals.

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It's a world-renowned TED Talk.

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She wrote a book.

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I read the book.

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After I wrote my book, I read her book, but I do believe that I never felt like I was

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the smartest person in the room, but I always knew I would be successful because I knew

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that I would figure out what it took to get and achieve what I wanted.

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So it's having a growth mindset.

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It's being adaptable.

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It's being super clear on what your goals are and putting a plan together, implementing

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your plan, and executing your plan.

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And so that's why I believe that grit is really kind of one of those key indicators of what

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success looks like, and you take examples like Oprah Winfrey.

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She did not grow up in an affluent area.

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She had trials and tribulations through all of her upbringing, and she is one of the most

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influential people out there and very successful, and I believe it's because of her grit, along

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with some of the other people out there.

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You've got Sarah Blakely, Denzel Washington.

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There's definitely a lot of people out there that weren't provided all the resources, may

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not be the smartest person in the room, but they know who to lean on.

436
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They know how to ask for help.

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They're willing to learn, and they're willing to adapt, and they're willing to stay focused

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on what they want.

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To learn and to adapt.

440
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:39,680
You're never too old to learn something new and to adapt and change, and that's something

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I think people don't realize or think about, especially high-performing salespeople.

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They just think, I've got it.

443
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:45,920
It's worked for 20 years.

444
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I can keep doing it, and they forget that things change.

445
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:49,520
People change.

446
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:54,400
The process changes, and so I guess your point is, don't be stuck in your ways.

447
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,720
Listen and see what the end client or customer is looking for.

448
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:01,640
Danielle, in your experience, how does grit compare to talent when it comes to achieving

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success, and can grit compensate for a lack of natural ability?

450
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,680
Ooh, good question.

451
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:15,000
I think best to give this analogy or comparison is sports.

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00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:20,200
I have seven-year-old twins, and they are raised in the same household, but they are

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two totally different kids.

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One sleeps hot.

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00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,080
One sleeps cold.

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00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:32,120
One loves to sit there and will play with Legos and build an extravagant Lego set, and

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00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:36,280
the other one tells his brother to build it for him so he can play with it.

458
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:43,480
One of them has got a natural ability to excel in baseball, and the other one is good,

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00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,120
but not as natural.

460
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:52,800
Some of us are born with a natural talent towards something, just the way that our brain

461
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:58,840
processes things or our physical bodies and how they're built may have us lean towards

462
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:00,960
a better talent.

463
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,560
However, you can have an amazing talent, but if you don't have the grit to support it,

464
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,320
you can almost be capped on what you can achieve.

465
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:15,000
I truly believe that – I mean, you look at Tom Brady, for example.

466
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:22,000
He was among one of the last picks at the draft, but he had grit, so he had talent,

467
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:28,360
but not the same talent as what some of the first draft picks had, but he had grit and

468
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,920
became one of the most recognized football quarterbacks of all time.

469
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:38,520
He's the GOAT, because whether y'all like him or not, I still am going to praise him

470
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:44,200
for what he's been able to accomplish, and I think grit was really the key differentiator.

471
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,760
As someone who's a New York fan, not a Boston fan, I don't like using Tom Brady references,

472
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:53,640
but I can't disagree with you, unfortunately, so we'll move on.

473
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,360
How important are social connections or our professional network to our ability to be

474
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,520
resilient during tough times?

475
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:06,800
If there's anything that we learned through the pandemic is community is everything.

476
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,280
It is absolutely everything.

477
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:15,960
I think about the times when I was going through trials and tribulations in my life, the moments

478
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:23,040
that I reached out and asked for help and got involved in my community, I was able to

479
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:27,640
get through some of those a lot faster than just trying to do it on my own.

480
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,040
I believe that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

481
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:36,520
It's one of the most courageous, brave things that you can do, and you think about research

482
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:37,520
out there.

483
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:43,960
Research shows that people that volunteer live happier, more fulfilling lives, so when

484
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:49,320
you think about instead of asking for help as being a burden onto somebody, think about

485
00:31:49,320 --> 00:32:00,360
it as asking for help is giving the opportunity for somebody to experience joy and fulfillment.

486
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,160
Think about somebody out there.

487
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:06,880
Maybe if you ever read the five love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, one of the love languages

488
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:11,640
is acts of service, and so you reach out to somebody for help, and maybe their primary

489
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:17,600
love language, like mine is, is acts of service, and you just gave me an immediate boost in

490
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:23,400
oxytocin and serotonin because I feel fulfilled, like, oh, I feel needed, and I want to help,

491
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:28,640
and I want to go in and make an impact in somebody's life, as little as it is.

492
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,680
It could be watching your kids for a day when you got to go to the doctor's office, whatever

493
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:37,880
it is, but yeah, I believe that community is everything.

494
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:41,960
We were not put on this earth by God to do it alone.

495
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,520
We're put on this earth to be in community.

496
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:52,760
Is there a difference between grit and resilience, or are they two sides of the same coin?

497
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:59,160
I believe resilience is your ability to bounce back when you face challenges, and your grit

498
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:03,800
is kind of your key motivation to keep moving forward.

499
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:08,560
I guess the big question here now is, how do we develop grit?

500
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,200
Can we just flip a switch and have unstoppable grit in one day, or is it something that requires

501
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:17,320
a lot of hard work over months or years?

502
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:21,000
There are some people that are a little bit more grittier than others, just a innate characteristic,

503
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,720
but it's absolutely something that can be developed.

504
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,420
It's just, there is.

505
00:33:26,420 --> 00:33:33,800
If you are willing to learn and grow and adopt a growth mindset, you can learn to be gritty.

506
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:39,000
It's just being open and vulnerable to learning something new.

507
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,760
I mentioned this before, you are the personification of unstoppable grit, but is there a limit

508
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:47,920
to grit and resilience, and when is it time for someone to pivot or change their approach

509
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,760
rather than continue to persevere?

510
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,080
Oh, good question.

511
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,840
I just experienced this.

512
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:59,440
I had particular goals in mind of how I wanted my...

513
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,680
I say I'm an accidental entrepreneur because I wasn't intending on starting a business

514
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,600
when I left the company that I was with, but ended up starting a business.

515
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:08,960
That's just the way that I was.

516
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,560
That's where the doors had opened up.

517
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:19,280
There were certain goals that I had in my business where I wanted to be...

518
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:26,200
I was working on being a keynote speaker, and I was really focused on how can I make...

519
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,960
My whole thing is impact, so I was like, how can I make a positive impact as many people's

520
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,240
lives as I possibly can?

521
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:36,920
A lot of times, that meant if I want to be doing keynote speakeas, I want to be out on

522
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,640
stages all the time.

523
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:44,560
Well, as I was growing my speaking business, and I started to travel more and travel more,

524
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:50,160
I recognized that I had almost gone back into the pattern of where I was working in corporate

525
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,640
where I was gone all the time, and that doesn't necessarily best for...

526
00:34:54,640 --> 00:35:01,960
I'm going to emphasize this point, for the phase of life that I'm in right now.

527
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,920
I'm not saying never will that happen.

528
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:10,560
I'm saying right now, it's not necessarily a priority to be on as many stages as I can

529
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:15,520
and to be traveling as much as I can because my priority right now is to be there for my

530
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:22,280
kids, to do their homework with them, to be at every single baseball game that I possibly

531
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,280
can.

532
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,400
So I took some time.

533
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:29,560
I actually paused my business for a month and a half when I had kind of reached this

534
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:34,640
burnout period, reevaluated what I wanted in my life, and I started to work my business

535
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:35,640
around my life.

536
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:40,000
And I started to put some parameters like, okay, I'll do one speaking engagement a month

537
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,160
or two speaking engagements a month, and then everything else I do virtually, and that's

538
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,560
what's going to work for my life right now.

539
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,560
So I really pivoted.

540
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:54,720
But again, it goes back into, it's so important to take time to pause, reflect, reevaluate,

541
00:35:54,720 --> 00:36:01,240
reassess, and then create a plan, implement it, and execute it.

542
00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:05,920
We've noted that our worst critic is often living rent-free in our own head.

543
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,960
How much influence do our own negative words have on shaping our actions and outcomes,

544
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,160
and how do we avoid that dialogue with ourselves?

545
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:14,160
A big.

546
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:20,320
I would say that it's like that pesky mosquito that is constantly buzzing in your ear, telling

547
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,200
you all the things that you can't do.

548
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,200
You're not smart enough.

549
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,200
You're not successful enough.

550
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:29,480
So you've got that internal dialogue, and then you've got social media who influences

551
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:35,000
it even more because you're seeing what other people are doing, and you start to get in

552
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,000
the comparison mode.

553
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,000
And some people, they're just wired that way.

554
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:47,320
One of my boys, he is just, the way that he is wired, he is so hard on himself.

555
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:52,520
And it's really hard for me, especially when you're a motivational speaker and transformational

556
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:53,520
speaker.

557
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:54,520
And I'm like, but this is what I do for a living.

558
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:55,520
How do you not?

559
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,520
Why are you like this?

560
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:57,520
But it's just the way that he is.

561
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,360
It's just the way that he's wired.

562
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,680
And so it's really taking the time.

563
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:09,400
When I'm working with job seekers, for example, and a lot of job seekers are feeling deflated,

564
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,280
and they're feeling discouraged, and they're frustrated through the process because it's

565
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:20,400
really hard to find a job, especially at the level that I work with when the job seekers.

566
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,600
I'll say, okay, two things.

567
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:27,240
One is write down all of your accomplishments throughout your career.

568
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:31,000
A lot of times, we forget everything that we have accomplished.

569
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:35,480
And so it's important to take time to recognize it, to celebrate it, and to look back.

570
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:41,000
I had one person I was working with, one client I was working with, and she's like, I did

571
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,000
that exercise.

572
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,000
And she goes, man, I'm a badass.

573
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,000
I look really cool.

574
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:50,640
And the other one, and this is from somebody, Dr. Brian Davidson, who was on my podcast

575
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:51,640
Unstoppable Grit.

576
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:55,760
And he had said, take a piece of paper, and on one side of the piece of paper, write down

577
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,800
everything that you've experienced in your life.

578
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,880
And on the other side of the piece of paper, write down everything that you've overcome.

579
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:07,720
So what's happened to you, and then reposition that into what have you overcome.

580
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:12,480
And when you start to focus on what you've overcome, you start to focus on your accomplishments

581
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:13,720
throughout your career.

582
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:18,080
You start to focus on the good, and then you start to rewire that negative thinking in

583
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,080
your brain.

584
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,800
Big question for the day.

585
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:22,800
What's your cat's name?

586
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,980
Yeah, they just came in here.

587
00:38:24,980 --> 00:38:27,740
So I just got two kittens last week.

588
00:38:27,740 --> 00:38:28,740
They were rescued.

589
00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:30,060
I think they're about eight weeks old.

590
00:38:30,060 --> 00:38:32,220
I've got Maverick and Harley.

591
00:38:32,220 --> 00:38:33,220
Awesome.

592
00:38:33,220 --> 00:38:39,020
So Harley's a girl, Maverick's a boy, and they are mischievous, to say the least.

593
00:38:39,020 --> 00:38:40,460
They're climbing all over my house.

594
00:38:40,460 --> 00:38:44,020
So I have to ask, because I've got two Shih Tzus here, also both rescues.

595
00:38:44,020 --> 00:38:47,460
One's more cat-like, but my listeners know my other Shih Tzu, Zeke, very well, because

596
00:38:47,460 --> 00:38:50,300
he lets everybody know when the UPS or Amazon delivery comes.

597
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:53,220
And so luckily, he's literally asleep on my feet or the desk right now.

598
00:38:53,220 --> 00:38:55,580
So I just wanted to bring the pets into that.

599
00:38:55,580 --> 00:38:59,420
So back to what we were just talking about, on the other side of the coin, how can the

600
00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:03,620
right self-talk instill confidence and optimal performance, and how can we train ourselves

601
00:39:03,620 --> 00:39:05,500
to use more empowering language?

602
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:06,500
Ooh.

603
00:39:06,500 --> 00:39:07,500
Okay.

604
00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:08,500
Yeah.

605
00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:12,540
So neurolinguistics is a way that if someone just Googles neurolinguistics and how you

606
00:39:12,540 --> 00:39:15,540
reframe the words that we use.

607
00:39:15,540 --> 00:39:18,620
So one, my life is not busy.

608
00:39:18,620 --> 00:39:21,900
My life is full.

609
00:39:21,900 --> 00:39:26,780
Another one could be I get to versus I have to.

610
00:39:26,780 --> 00:39:30,180
You think about, oh, I have to cook dinner.

611
00:39:30,180 --> 00:39:35,060
Instead, I get to cook dinner, because quite honestly, I'm blessed that I get to cook dinner.

612
00:39:35,060 --> 00:39:37,740
I am blessed that I have food in my refrigerator.

613
00:39:37,740 --> 00:39:40,540
I am blessed that I have a house to cook food in.

614
00:39:40,540 --> 00:39:41,860
It's not something I have to do.

615
00:39:41,860 --> 00:39:44,100
It is something that I am blessed that I get to do.

616
00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:48,420
Instead of I have to pick up my kids, I get to pick up my kids.

617
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:51,020
I have to exercise or I get to exercise.

618
00:39:51,140 --> 00:39:53,180
I get to fuel my body.

619
00:39:53,180 --> 00:39:58,300
And for the salespeople out there, instead of I have to role play, because let's face

620
00:39:58,300 --> 00:40:01,500
it, none of us like to role play, even though it's extremely beneficial.

621
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,220
I've done it.

622
00:40:03,220 --> 00:40:04,220
I get to role play.

623
00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:08,300
I get to master my sales techniques.

624
00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:09,860
I get to master objection handling.

625
00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:11,900
I get to master my negotiation skills.

626
00:40:11,900 --> 00:40:18,140
I get to role play so that I can be more confident going into the appointments with my clients

627
00:40:18,140 --> 00:40:20,100
than I did if I didn't role play.

628
00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:27,020
And so using different words from have to, to get to, from busy, to full are just some

629
00:40:27,020 --> 00:40:31,820
of the ways that we can use neurolinguistics to reframe our mind and the way that we approach

630
00:40:31,820 --> 00:40:32,820
our life.

631
00:40:32,820 --> 00:40:34,820
And your cat just knocked over a plant.

632
00:40:34,820 --> 00:40:35,820
Yeah.

633
00:40:35,820 --> 00:40:36,820
Oh, yeah.

634
00:40:36,820 --> 00:40:37,820
See?

635
00:40:37,820 --> 00:40:38,820
Yeah, there.

636
00:40:38,820 --> 00:40:42,300
And maybe I guess as a follow up to that in terms of the words that you choose, how can

637
00:40:42,300 --> 00:40:43,900
we become more aware of the language we use?

638
00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:47,500
Are there any tools or habits or practices you recommend?

639
00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:50,060
Oh, you know, it's hard.

640
00:40:51,020 --> 00:40:56,140
I would say if you're a podcaster, it's easy to pick up on them.

641
00:40:56,140 --> 00:40:59,940
And the reason being is because when I had my podcast, I listened to every single episode.

642
00:40:59,940 --> 00:41:01,940
So I was able to pick them up.

643
00:41:01,940 --> 00:41:07,460
But it is a little bit more difficult because it's so ingrained within us and so part of

644
00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:13,580
our everyday language that it's really beneficial when you invest in a coach and you have something

645
00:41:13,580 --> 00:41:16,300
that can kind of pick up on those words for you.

646
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:21,180
So a lot of times when I'm working with clients, I'll be like, okay, wait, pause.

647
00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:24,860
We just said something that we can just change just a little bit to get a different outcome

648
00:41:24,860 --> 00:41:25,860
on how we view things.

649
00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:28,500
And like, oh, my gosh, I didn't even realize I said that.

650
00:41:28,500 --> 00:41:30,580
You're able to pick up on it so quickly.

651
00:41:30,580 --> 00:41:34,540
And it's just because I'm more in tune to it.

652
00:41:34,540 --> 00:41:38,860
And so having somebody else kind of help you say, hey, you know, share with somebody.

653
00:41:38,860 --> 00:41:43,700
Maybe you've got a friend, a family member, or a colleague and let them know what you're

654
00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:47,180
maybe some things that you're currently saying or feeling.

655
00:41:47,180 --> 00:41:52,020
And can you help me pick out some different ways when I get into that mindset?

656
00:41:52,020 --> 00:41:55,300
You mentioned earlier how important it is to ask for help.

657
00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:59,900
Why do you believe asking for help is an essential skill for personal and professional success?

658
00:41:59,900 --> 00:42:04,700
Okay, so you had mentioned like there are some people out there who've been doing sales

659
00:42:04,700 --> 00:42:05,700
for 15 years.

660
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:09,620
In fact, I just got off this call where I was talking with an organization like, oh,

661
00:42:09,620 --> 00:42:11,500
well, my team has been in sales for 15 years.

662
00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:12,500
They know what they're doing.

663
00:42:12,540 --> 00:42:17,300
And I was going, but does learning stop?

664
00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:21,340
Because the world is evolving, like AI is coming into play.

665
00:42:21,340 --> 00:42:25,300
The way that we do business is different every single year.

666
00:42:25,300 --> 00:42:29,700
So if you don't evolve with the times, it doesn't matter how many years of sales you've

667
00:42:29,700 --> 00:42:32,660
been in, you're going to fall behind the curve.

668
00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:38,020
So I believe that asking for help, if there's, you know, if you want to get promoted, ask

669
00:42:38,020 --> 00:42:40,660
for help, get a mentor, get a career coach.

670
00:42:40,660 --> 00:42:42,900
If you want to find a new job, ask for help.

671
00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:47,580
If you want to improve your sales, then reach out to the top performing sales reps in your

672
00:42:47,580 --> 00:42:52,900
company and ask them what they're doing well.

673
00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:56,580
Asking for help is probably one of the most powerful, courageous, brave things that you

674
00:42:56,580 --> 00:43:00,180
can do to help you achieve the goals that you want to achieve.

675
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:04,780
And what happens to us physically when we ask for help?

676
00:43:04,780 --> 00:43:10,180
There are some people that like physically when we ask for help, it's, you know, there's

677
00:43:10,180 --> 00:43:15,180
a fear associated and a lot of times that fear comes from, well, are they going to judge

678
00:43:15,180 --> 00:43:16,180
me?

679
00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:21,100
And when you start to release that, what are people going to think instead of like, what

680
00:43:21,100 --> 00:43:23,340
are people are going to think?

681
00:43:23,340 --> 00:43:28,700
How about, I wonder what type of friendship we can develop by me just asking for help?

682
00:43:28,700 --> 00:43:33,780
Because a lot of times that's where friendships form is by asking for help.

683
00:43:33,780 --> 00:43:37,700
And maybe as a pylon to that, is there an ideal time to ask for help and how do you

684
00:43:37,700 --> 00:43:42,900
recommend approaching someone without feeling like a burden?

685
00:43:42,900 --> 00:43:46,340
I believe in just being direct and honest.

686
00:43:46,340 --> 00:43:49,140
I don't know if there's necessarily a perfect time to ask for help.

687
00:43:49,140 --> 00:43:56,340
It really depends on the situation, but if you are wanting to promote into a new role,

688
00:43:56,340 --> 00:44:01,380
reach out to your manager and communicate what your goals are and ask, is there anybody

689
00:44:01,380 --> 00:44:04,220
that you, I'd really like to get set up with a mentor.

690
00:44:04,220 --> 00:44:07,220
Is there anybody that you would like, that you believe would be a good fit that I could

691
00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:09,460
reach out to that can mentor me?

692
00:44:09,460 --> 00:44:12,900
If you feel like you're not getting that support within the organization, then that's when

693
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:18,620
like reaching out to career coaches is really helpful, mainly because career coaches provide

694
00:44:18,620 --> 00:44:24,380
a safe, confidential area where you can be vulnerable and not have to worry about what

695
00:44:24,380 --> 00:44:26,540
your colleagues are going to think about you.

696
00:44:26,540 --> 00:44:30,420
It's a very safe environment.

697
00:44:30,460 --> 00:44:32,940
There's no secret sauce to ask for your help.

698
00:44:32,940 --> 00:44:36,220
It's just a matter of asking, like, hey, I need some help with this.

699
00:44:36,220 --> 00:44:37,900
Would you mind helping me?

700
00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:38,900
What's the worst that can happen?

701
00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:39,900
They can say, no.

702
00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:40,900
Okay, then go ask somebody else.

703
00:44:40,900 --> 00:44:43,260
So check your ego at the door.

704
00:44:43,260 --> 00:44:44,260
Yeah.

705
00:44:44,260 --> 00:44:49,540
There's something very beautiful that my manager once said to me and she said, as a woman,

706
00:44:49,540 --> 00:44:52,620
in your 20s, you're just trying to figure out what you want to do.

707
00:44:52,620 --> 00:44:55,180
In your 30s, you're trying to figure out who you are.

708
00:44:55,180 --> 00:45:00,340
When you hit your 40s, you really don't care what people think, you just are who you are.

709
00:45:01,260 --> 00:45:05,380
I remember when I turned 40 and I'm going, wow, that is so true.

710
00:45:05,380 --> 00:45:07,740
I don't care what people think of me.

711
00:45:07,740 --> 00:45:13,460
Yeah, I want to be a good person and I want to be kind and known for being a positive

712
00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:21,620
influence in people's lives, but I don't care necessarily, like, if a person doesn't like

713
00:45:21,620 --> 00:45:25,900
me, then maybe our personalities are different.

714
00:45:26,580 --> 00:45:32,020
We have different viewpoints, different values, different belief systems, and that's okay.

715
00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:34,980
There's a lot of people in this world.

716
00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:39,060
Now if anything, I try to find every opportunity I can to embarrass my kids because I don't

717
00:45:39,060 --> 00:45:40,060
care what anyone thinks.

718
00:45:40,060 --> 00:45:44,540
So I told my son I was going to dress up in a chicken costume and run down his school

719
00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:48,980
saying I'm Jameson's mom, just because it'd be fun.

720
00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:49,980
Did you?

721
00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:50,980
No, not yet.

722
00:45:50,980 --> 00:45:51,980
Halloween's coming.

723
00:45:51,980 --> 00:45:52,980
Yeah.

724
00:45:53,980 --> 00:45:55,740
So I reached out to you.

725
00:45:55,740 --> 00:45:56,740
I've asked for help.

726
00:45:56,740 --> 00:46:00,700
How important is it to follow up and express gratitude after receiving help?

727
00:46:00,700 --> 00:46:04,820
And then what impact does that have on future support?

728
00:46:04,820 --> 00:46:08,820
So one of the things that you can do at the end of a conversation when somebody has helped

729
00:46:08,820 --> 00:46:12,460
you is just ask the question, A, thank you so much for helping me.

730
00:46:12,460 --> 00:46:14,100
I really appreciate it.

731
00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:19,100
And what can I do to support you?

732
00:46:19,100 --> 00:46:21,980
And then be silent and listen.

733
00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:23,420
And it's just a simple question.

734
00:46:23,420 --> 00:46:25,620
And sometimes it's nothing.

735
00:46:25,620 --> 00:46:29,100
Sometimes it's like I don't, you know, somebody can ask me for help.

736
00:46:29,100 --> 00:46:33,580
I was watching my, I don't know, I was watching my friend's kid on this weekend.

737
00:46:33,580 --> 00:46:35,100
I was like, there's nothing that I needed in return.

738
00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:36,900
Actually, I just really enjoyed doing it.

739
00:46:36,900 --> 00:46:43,260
So that's also too, it's again, if someone's feeling like, oh, I have to do something back,

740
00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:44,540
then you're still seeing it.

741
00:46:44,540 --> 00:46:48,580
You're still viewing it as a burden on somebody.

742
00:46:48,580 --> 00:46:49,980
And so that's an opportunity to reframe.

743
00:46:49,980 --> 00:46:54,260
But just asking the question, like, what can I do to support you?

744
00:46:54,260 --> 00:46:59,060
You mentioned earlier in the show about your husband making what I'll call a career change.

745
00:46:59,060 --> 00:47:01,900
He'd been interested in joining the army for a long time and obviously wasn't happy doing

746
00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:02,900
what he was doing.

747
00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:09,180
He joined the army, took a big pay cut, upgrade your career and your family.

748
00:47:09,180 --> 00:47:15,980
When faced with such a dramatic decision, how do we be sure it's the right decision?

749
00:47:15,980 --> 00:47:18,780
So for him, it was really a calling.

750
00:47:19,460 --> 00:47:23,700
So for him, his father was an immigrant from Cuba.

751
00:47:23,700 --> 00:47:28,420
He was on when the last Peter Pan flights from Cuba.

752
00:47:28,420 --> 00:47:33,420
He came here when he was 11 years old, lived in an orphanage until he was 13 years old

753
00:47:33,420 --> 00:47:37,180
until his parents were able to come over to the U.S. from Cuba.

754
00:47:37,180 --> 00:47:44,620
And his dad ended up becoming a very prominent physician, a general surgeon in California.

755
00:47:44,620 --> 00:47:49,060
And so for my husband, it was really a calling for him.

756
00:47:49,060 --> 00:47:54,660
He wanted to give back to the country that had provided a life for him and his family.

757
00:47:54,660 --> 00:47:57,500
It was really the American dream.

758
00:47:57,500 --> 00:48:04,820
And I think it's really important in the moments where don't look so much on, again, my husband

759
00:48:04,820 --> 00:48:05,820
was chasing the dollar.

760
00:48:05,820 --> 00:48:10,140
And I said, instead of looking at like in an ideal world, if money wasn't an object,

761
00:48:10,140 --> 00:48:12,340
like really, what do you want to do?

762
00:48:12,340 --> 00:48:18,140
Because at the end of the day, you can continue to be in sales and you can make great money.

763
00:48:18,140 --> 00:48:20,140
But if you're not happy, what's the point?

764
00:48:20,140 --> 00:48:22,820
Like our life is so short.

765
00:48:22,820 --> 00:48:25,700
What's the point of making all this money if you're going to be miserable every single

766
00:48:25,700 --> 00:48:27,100
day?

767
00:48:27,100 --> 00:48:31,660
Or maybe you don't make as much money, but you feel like every single time you go to

768
00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:34,700
work, you feel like there's a purpose and you feel fulfillment.

769
00:48:34,700 --> 00:48:37,620
I'd much rather choose that road.

770
00:48:37,620 --> 00:48:42,420
And so really ask yourself, what is it that you want to do?

771
00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:44,580
What fulfills you?

772
00:48:44,580 --> 00:48:49,940
And really let that be the guiding light as to what direction you want your life to do.

773
00:48:49,940 --> 00:48:52,900
I mean, look at our teachers, for example, they don't get paid well.

774
00:48:52,900 --> 00:48:54,940
They are so underpaid.

775
00:48:54,940 --> 00:48:58,420
They do it because they love it and they do it because they have a passion for teaching

776
00:48:58,420 --> 00:49:00,460
our kids.

777
00:49:00,460 --> 00:49:03,100
If there's one thing we can really learn from teachers is that.

778
00:49:03,100 --> 00:49:07,260
Well, it's the old adage, money can't buy happiness, right?

779
00:49:07,900 --> 00:49:11,580
No, there's a lot of people that are really, really wealthy and miserable.

780
00:49:11,580 --> 00:49:13,700
A lot.

781
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:17,220
How does emotional resilience factor into adaptability and what tools can we use to

782
00:49:17,220 --> 00:49:20,340
strengthen it?

783
00:49:20,340 --> 00:49:26,380
I believe emotional resilience is really that it's going back to that growth mindset and

784
00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:29,980
that's what leads into the adaptability.

785
00:49:29,980 --> 00:49:35,740
You know, Dr. Carol DeWitt, she did a lot of research on having a growth mindset and

786
00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:41,660
a growth mindset is this understanding that we are born a certain way, but that doesn't

787
00:49:41,660 --> 00:49:44,740
necessarily mean that that's the way we always have to be.

788
00:49:44,740 --> 00:49:48,580
We can learn, we can grow, we can adapt and we can shape ourselves into the person that

789
00:49:48,580 --> 00:49:50,540
we want to be tomorrow.

790
00:49:50,540 --> 00:49:55,500
And so that is really like where that emotional resilience comes from and adaptability is

791
00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:58,740
understanding that growth mindset.

792
00:49:58,740 --> 00:50:02,940
How can mindfulness or similar practices help our adaptability?

793
00:50:03,940 --> 00:50:11,820
Well, I believe that when you believe in yourself, that you're capable of doing something, then

794
00:50:11,820 --> 00:50:16,220
that creates the mindset of the willingness to learn and the willingness to change and

795
00:50:16,220 --> 00:50:18,060
the willingness to grow.

796
00:50:18,060 --> 00:50:23,180
But if you are in this mindset that this is the way that I am and this is the way that

797
00:50:23,180 --> 00:50:30,060
I'm always going to be, then that's going to be a very limiting mindset for you on what

798
00:50:30,060 --> 00:50:32,540
you want to accomplish.

799
00:50:32,540 --> 00:50:34,260
We have just a few minutes left.

800
00:50:34,260 --> 00:50:38,100
Please share with us again where we can find your podcast and your book Unstoppable Grit

801
00:50:38,100 --> 00:50:40,900
and then please take us into our conversation with advice or a story that helps our audience

802
00:50:40,900 --> 00:50:44,620
feel less stressed, more resilient and become more empowered.

803
00:50:44,620 --> 00:50:49,820
So my book is Unstoppable Grit, Breakthrough the Seven Roadblocks Standing Between You

804
00:50:49,820 --> 00:50:51,500
and Achieving Your Goals.

805
00:50:51,500 --> 00:50:56,660
You can get it at any major retailer, definitely on Amazon, which makes it so convenient.

806
00:50:56,660 --> 00:51:02,540
And then my podcast Unstoppable Grit with Danielle Coppo podcast is on Spotify and Apple.

807
00:51:02,540 --> 00:51:06,220
And then Best Way to Follow Me is on LinkedIn because that's the platform that I tend to

808
00:51:06,220 --> 00:51:08,260
spend the most time on.

809
00:51:08,260 --> 00:51:12,260
And for those that are listening, if there's one piece of advice I'd really give, there's

810
00:51:12,260 --> 00:51:16,340
a lot of information that was shared in our conversation today.

811
00:51:16,340 --> 00:51:17,620
Pick one.

812
00:51:17,620 --> 00:51:20,820
Don't necessarily feel like I need to make all these changes in my life, but maybe pick

813
00:51:20,820 --> 00:51:26,540
one or two things that really resonated with you and start to implement that in your life.

814
00:51:26,540 --> 00:51:30,860
And then once you've got those that have become more innate and kind of natural in

815
00:51:30,860 --> 00:51:32,860
your flow, then you can pick another too.

816
00:51:32,860 --> 00:51:33,860
But just pick two.

817
00:51:33,860 --> 00:51:40,380
Danielle Coppo, bestselling author of Unstoppable Grit and host of the Top Rate podcast, Unstoppable

818
00:51:40,380 --> 00:51:45,020
Grit podcast with Danielle Coppo, thank you so much for being with us today.

819
00:51:45,020 --> 00:51:46,020
Thank you.

820
00:51:46,020 --> 00:51:49,660
And thank you to our audience, which now includes people in over 50 countries for joining us

821
00:51:49,660 --> 00:51:51,940
for another episode of Next Steps Forward.

822
00:51:51,940 --> 00:51:52,940
I'm Chris Meek.

823
00:51:52,940 --> 00:51:57,180
For more details and upcoming shows and guests, please follow me on Facebook at facebook.com

824
00:51:57,180 --> 00:52:01,660
forward slash ChrisMeekPublicFigure and then X at ChrisMeek underscore USA.

825
00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:05,980
We'll be back next Tuesday, same time, same place with another leader from the world of

826
00:52:05,980 --> 00:52:09,940
business, politics, public policy, sports, or entertainment.

827
00:52:09,940 --> 00:52:17,940
Until then, stay safe and keep taking your next steps forward.

828
00:52:17,940 --> 00:52:20,700
Thanks for tuning in to Next Steps Forward.

829
00:52:20,700 --> 00:52:25,900
Be sure to join Chris Meek for another great show next Tuesday at 10 a.m. Pacific time

830
00:52:25,900 --> 00:52:30,760
and 1 p.m. Eastern time on the Voice America Empowerment Channel.

831
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,740
This week, make things happen in your life.