Self Obsession with Dr. Tom Davies

We all have dreams and aspirations whether they be society imposed or generated from our hearts. Yet the Buddhists posit that suffering is caused by desire (duhkha). In an increasingly individualistic world, we are encouraged to define ourselves: through our achievements, relationships, appearance, beliefs, careers and countless other markers of identity. Does this relentless focus on who we are - and who we think we should be - may actually be contributing to our anxiety, dissatisfaction and psychological distress? When we don't meet these standards whether they be externally or internally imposed, we are distressed.

Tom explores how our sense of self is constructed, why we become so attached to it, and how attempts to protect and strengthen our identities can inadvertently create suffering. Drawing together contemporary psychology, evolutionary science and Eastern philosophy, he examines why self-obsession is such a powerful feature of the human condition.

The answer is not changing who we are, but, aligned with the Buddhist philosophy, to loosen our attachment to the idea of a fixed identity. Tom explores practical ways of loosening our attachment to identity, responding differently to difficult thoughts and emotions, and becoming more engaged with life beyond ourselves.

Tom studied Biology at Warwick University before completing his medical training at King’s College London. Tom has worked as a physician in primary and secondary care, including in General Practice and Psychiatry, as well as in non-clinical roles within public health and the digital mental health space. He now works as a psychotherapist in the East of England. He has written the book self obsession.

Tom is a British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP)-accredited CBT therapist specializing in OCD and health anxiety. He provides evidence-based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), including Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), helping people break free from cycles of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, checking, reassurance and rumination. Therapy is available online across the UK.

Intrusive thoughts, doubts and uncomfortable feelings are a normal part of being human. Problems can develop when we get caught trying to eliminate uncertainty, find reassurance, or prevent feared outcomes. Through CBT and ERP, Tom helps people respond differently to these experiences, reduce the behaviours that keep anxiety going and get back to living more freely. His approach is practical, collaborative and focused on recovery rather than simply learning to cope with symptoms. In his book, Self Obsession, he discusses how to lessen the hold of becoming a "perfect self."

Outside of his clinical work, Tom is a passionate long-distance hiker and has explored many of the long-distance trails across Europe. In 2018, he walked approximately 2,000 km from Canterbury to Rome along the Via Francigena over three months. Walking has also played an important part in Tom's interest in philosophy and contemplative traditions. Many of the ideas explored in his book Self-Obsession developed through his experiences of long-distance walking and his longstanding interest in Eastern philosophy