Episodes

After a loss, people often have to return to work much too soon. And what do they encounter? A workplace which understands very little about grief or how to support a colleague in the loss. Often, a lack of experience and education results in harmful comments and unrealistic expectations. But with a little training, the workplace can take a role in supporting us through our worst times. When Rachel Kodanaz lost her husband suddenly, she became painfully aware how unprepared her coworkers were to...

With the legalization of marriage for all Americans and the greater level of acceptance for LGBT people, we could come to the mistaken conclusion that bias no longer affected LGBT people. But far from it, aging and dying LGBT people face an uphill climb to get the support they need; from family, facilities and professionals. Gen Silent is an intimate portrait of some of the people directly affected by outdated attitudes and beliefs. The political battle fought over these beliefs has a deep perso...

At the end of life, there is so much mystery, so much we don't know. But because of the work of Barbara Karnes, we do have a map of the physical territory. Just knowing that what is happening to a loved one at the end is part of the natural process of dying can be a tremendous comfort. How did Barbara come to write her seminal books to support hospice patients and their families? What feeds her passion for educating all of us about what to expect at the end of life, and how to support each other...

Going through the deepest struggle is sometimes the road to new illuminations. Robin Perry Braun knows this first hand. The tremendous struggles in her early life led her to a belief that with the right practices, she could attract the life she wanted to live. This led, as it often does, to her life's work; helping other people learn and use the tools she had discovered walking her own road. At the center of her work is a metaphysical principle, the law of attraction, and she supports her client...

Palliative care has been a little understood aspect of our overall health care system even as it has become more recognized within that system as a valuable resource for patients and their families. Patients often have no education about how palliative care and hospice can serve them and ease the tremendous stresses of serious diagnosis. Thankfully, pioneers in the field have conducted an impassioned fight to educate, validate and increase access to this most essential care. Of all of these advo...

At first, grief knocks us down. we are stuck on the corner, watching almost everyone else moving down the block. But as we investigate, there is the possibility of bringing meaning to our own experience and to open up realms of consciousness that are expansive and deeply transformative. For Terri Daniel, grieving the loss of her son, these investigations led to an acceptance of the mystical realm and a belief that there is much more awaiting us after death than we know. She came to see her loss ...

Our religious and spiritual teachers encourage us to forgive, as if we know how to do that and naturally want to. Yet forgiveness is actually a complex and nuanced experience, especially complicated when great loss has resulted from an injury. How do people who have lost loved ones to murder, politically motivated violence, sexual abuse, mass murder, relate to the idea of forgiveness? What inspires some to consciously work towards a sense of forgiveness while others simply accept that some acts ...

Breaking the silence to talk about the end of life is sometimes hard, but can also be compelling. For those who have had experience with people facing the end of their lives, the conversation is crucial. And if you work with people at the end of life, it is essential. After working as a physician in hospice and palliative care for nearly her whole career, Dawn Gross has made it her mission to open up the conversation, both in her work with patients and in her radio show, Dying to Talk. Her commi...

When Rachel Stephenson was five years old, her mother died in a car accident and never returned home. While the rest of her family was determined to move on, replace her mom and maintain their silence, Rachel rebelled against their attempts to ignore the monumental vacuum her mother had left. She never lost the compelling desire to speak her grief, though her family never became comfortable with it. Although she went on to accomplish many things in the world seemingly unrelated to her loss, she ...

No one talks about the hidden losses that come along with a cancer diagnosis. For Barbara Musser, a single young woman in 1989 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, suddenly facing struggles with her sexuality was an unexpected and deeply troubling experience. After her successful treatment, she was moved to try to help the couples, individuals and health care providers who were ill equipped to navigate this new territory. The result was a new career as a sex educator, specializing in cance...

Regi Carpenter has always used story telling to make sense of her world. By the time she faced the loss of her brother suddenly, she was well established in her story craft. And as she moved through her own experience of loss, she began to be asked to share stories with people experiencing losses of their own. Soon, she was telling stories to grieving children, confronting the losses by weaving them into tales that captivated and enthralled them. The stories also helped them confront their diffi...

Aida Salazar lost a baby and quickly found herself pregnant with another. Struggling to find an open heart in the midst of fear, she did what artists, and many other grievers, do; she accessed her creative expression as a way to make sense of her experience. Over time, her writings began to become a memoir of her experience. In the Womb of Love is a love letter to both babies, a deep expression of the love and struggle she went through after her loss- and continuing forward as she found her way,...

How would we cope if our brand new baby could not live beyond a few hours? Most of us cannot imagine that experience but, for others, it is a reality. Beyond a crushing grief and sense that this should not have happened, there is the unfolding of days, learning to live with what seems unbearable. And then, perhaps, something begins to unfold that changes our lives. The impact of a life, no matter how short, cannot be underestimated. Lucinda Weatherby puts it this way in the subtitle of her book,...

The obstacles to exercising our own choices at the end of our lives sometimes seem impossible to overcome. We are part of a culture that refuses to accept death, a medical system that reflects that culture and a lack of capable help in navigating an unfamiliar territory. When we add geographic impediments, once travel becomes difficult, a rural death can be particularly isolating. Micheal Fratkin, a doctor working in hospice and palliative care, felt compelled to do something about it. Resolutio...

Some losses are losses of things we never had; a safe childhood where we were protected and treasured. Attention to our needs and protection from what hurts. For a person abused as a child, the grief is for what never was and for the impact of that on our lives as adults. But there is the inspiration that comes when we love ourselves through these most terrible losses and find that life can be beautiful, enriching and fulfilled. Susan Jacobi has made it her life's work to encourage people who su...

How do our losses help us uncover our true purpose? This is the question at the heart of Sonika Marcia Ozdoba's memoir, The Soul with Two Voices. Losing what she thought was most valuable to her, her professional singing voice, she found an even deeper aspect of herself, her true voice. But the road towards our most authentic self is sometimes laced with peril. What can help us to continue our walk towards our best life? Sonika learned through hard experience how to face up to the past, and what...

Tara Shuman had the kind of life you could wish for; rewarding work, a husband and two little kids. She had started a few books, a children's book, a novel, but hadn't ever finished. The cancer came, unwelcome of course, into her life. And she found herself writing to pull herself through it. She shared what she was writing and found it had meaning to other people, that she could help people to understand their own experiences and those of their loved ones. What was at first just a means of self...

How do we move through multiple losses in a short period of time? What helps along the way? When Deborah Allen lost 5 of the most significant people in her life in just a few years, her considerable resiliency was put to the test! Her usual strategies didn't work, and she was submerged in an ocean of pain. Another family member, also coping with the same losses, excused herself every night to watch NCIS. As strange as that seemed to her, Deborah tried it herself and found in watching every episo...

Stephanie Johnson was always a part of theater- behind the scenes. She was comfortable supporting other people's production with her talents as a lighting director. But the arrival of cancer on the stage of her life moved her in a whole new direction. As she began to write down what she was experiencing, she realized these moments were a play in real time, and she was the author. As she faced diagnosis, uncertainty, treatment and inevitable questions and changes all of that brought about, she em...

Being an advocate for a loved one at the end of their lives is so much more than reading their advance directive documents. The decisions are complex, nuanced and unpredictable. There is no way to predict what will be asked of us and no way to insure that we will be clear what decisions to make. Bart Windrum learned this first hand when his own parents came to the end of their lives, both in the hospital, and what the medical community had to offer appeared to make things worse. Only looking bac...

It is only experience that seems to teach us how to heal from heartbreak. Caron Post and Deborah Pardes' experiences led to their deep commitment to help others through their heartbreaks. It also led to the creation of their book, Climbing Out From Under. They kept it short and focused on helping their readers address overwhelm, build their capacity for facing hard feelings, and make peace with loss. Although most of us only begin to consider how to accept our feelings after a profound loss, the...

Our life losses can seem overwhelming when it appears the rest of the world is celebrating. But in fact, we are in good company! Holidays are natural times to remember people we've lost and to honor them. But how do we step back from the high intensity, busy shopping and party season to make space for our grief? How can the people in our lives who have died bring deeper meaning and resonance to our holidays? Instead of feeling like we're out of step, can we allow the season to be a time for hono...

Planning for the end of life is something most of us delay and resist. But when we put a plan in order, it is empowering, allowing us to feel a measure of control over this most mysterious time in our lives. But how can we learn what we need? Resources can be scarce and our friends and family may not know where to begin either. Having a well informed and complete guide to facing our ends smooths the process, not only for us but for those who may need to make decisions for us! Joy Loverde is an i...

How does the spouse of a woman with breast cancer cope? Can he find the support he needs and forget about toughing it out? Will people realize that he has also lost his security, his foundation and the person who helps him? Will they know he too needs caring, loving support. Even if treatment is successful and the cancer does not return to an active state, life is never quite the same. How does a couple evolve when they face a diagnosis, period of treatment, and then uncertainty? After finding h...