Episodes

Keeping the brain engaged is key to building resilience. By seeking out new challenges and activities, people can take their resilience to the next level by developing wisdom. Wisdom is more strongly associated with life satisfaction than physical health, finances, socioeconomic status, social involvement, physical environment, and age. Among older hospice patients and nursing home residents, wisdom is more connected to their sense of wellbeing. One way to understand wisdom is to observe it as a...

When making a decision, we form opinions and choose actions via mental processes which are influenced by biases, reason, emotions, and memories. The simple act of deciding supports the notion that we have free will. We weigh the benefits and costs of our choice, and then we cope with the consequences. Factors that limit the ability to make good decisions include missing or incomplete information, urgent deadlines, and limited physical or emotional resources. When people are put in a familiar sit...

For centuries scientists, science writers and philosophers have encouraged us to trust our common sense (Lilienfeld et al., 2010; Furnham, 1996). Common sense is a phrase that generally implies something everyone knows. One of the definitions of common sense given by Wikipedia is, “good sense and sound judgment in practical matters.” Common sense psychology is a myth. What appears to be common sense is often common nonsense. Scott Lilienfeld, co-author of 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology, sa...

There is a great deal of information available about depression. But when you live with a depressed person, it can be painfully difficult. Anti-depressants are the number-one prescribed medication in this country, but they are not a panacea. Many with depression continue to suffer, or at least have symptomatic periods. This, in turn, affects those who love them. It can be especially difficult when the person with depression is your child or a partner. Many parents feel it is their duty to rescue...

When children are raised with chronic loss, without the psychological or physical protection they need—and certainly deserve—it is most natural for them to internalize incredible fear. Not receiving the necessary psychological or physical protection equals abandonment, and living with repeated abandonment experiences creates toxic shame. Shame arises from the painful message implied in abandonment: You are not important. You are not of value. This is the pain from which people need to heal. Tune...

Relationship scientist Raymond Knee coined the terms “destiny beliefs” and “growth beliefs” to describe an individual’s general approach to seeking and maintaining romantic relationships. People with destiny beliefs assume there is one person out there who they are meant to be with (a soulmate). They believe once they find the right person, the relationship will be relatively smooth and easy. In contrast, people with growth beliefs go into relationships assuming they will need to get to know eac...

For anyone whose life revolves around caregiving, including the parents of special-needs children, there are inherent risks that can jeopardize both their own well-being and that of the people they care for. Insufficient management of one’s own stress as one cares for others can lead to emotional burnout and feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and paralysis. Experts advise parents to find a practice that works for them, whether therapy, exercise, mindfulness, or another approach. It may brin...

Delusional disorder, previously called paranoid disorder, is a type of serious mental illness — called a “psychosis”— in which a person cannot tell what is real from what is imagined. The main feature of this disorder is the presence of delusions, which are unshakable beliefs in something untrue. People with delusional disorder experience non-bizarre delusions, which involve situations that could occur in real life, such as being followed, poisoned, deceived, conspired against, or loved from a d...

The Covid-19 pandemic led to a prolonged exposure to stress. As a consequence, researchers showed an increased interest in measuring social and community uneasiness in order to psychologically support the population. This increased attention might help in managing the current situation and other possible epidemics and pandemics. The security measures adopted in managing the pandemic had different consequences on individuals, according to the social role invested. Some segments of the population ...

There is a downside to being in control when it involves trying to control other people, because other people don't want to be controlled by you any more than you want to be controlled by other people. In therapy, we often hear that if we do not like the way in which others are behaving, we are better off changing our own feelings about their behavior than trying to change their behavior. The reason for this is that behavioral habits are notoriously difficult to change, even when a person really...

Destructive behavior takes various forms: from subtle self-sabotage and self-defeating patterns to passive hostility to severe self-destructive symptoms, violent aggression and, sometimes, evil deeds. Commonly, destructive behavior in adults bears the impetuous, impulsive quality of childish petulance or narcissistic temper tantrums. Or an infantile neediness, dependency, and dread of abandonment. Or an irresponsibility and angry refusal to be an adult: the Peter Pan syndrome, or what Jungians r...

Regret is a negative emotion that occurs when a person believes his or her past actions or behaviors, if changed, may have achieved a better outcome. Regret is often closely associated with feelings of guilt and shame. We often express the emotion of regret to others in the form of an apology. The emotion of regret can be broken down into two components A negative emotional state Cognitive construction of an alternative behavior or decision Even if the alternative decision or behavior was highly...

Being vulnerable with each other can also be a mutual endeavor, and it doesn't just involve revealing parts of yourself. It can also involve a joint effort toward something rewarding — an adventurous experience on a vacation, a joint lifestyle change toward healthier habits, an attempt to expand your mutual social circle, or even just expanding your minds together with new ideas in the form of thought-provoking books or movies. This puts you both outside of your comfort zone with the possibility...

Stalking is defined as repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. In 2006, psychologist Brian Spitzberg at San Diego State University conducted large-scale representative studies of stalking behavior across three continents. He reported that 2–13% of males and 8–32% of females are victimized by stalking at some point in their adult lives, and in the majority of such cases, the person...

Humor, the capacity to express or perceive what's funny, is both a source of entertainment and a means of coping with difficult or awkward situations and stressful events. Although it provokes laughter, humor can be serious business. From its most lighthearted forms to its more absurd ones, humor can play an instrumental role in forming social bonds, releasing tension, or attracting a mate. Tune in and learn how powerful humor is and the healing it offers!

Gender is related to but distinctly different from sex; it is rooted in culture, not biology. The APA (2012) defines gender as the attitudes, feelings, and behaviors that a given culture associates with a person’s biological sex. Gender conformity occurs when people abide by culturally-derived gender roles. Resisting gender roles (i.e., gender nonconformity) can have significant social consequences—pro and con, depending on circumstances. Tune in and learn how to navigate these difficult decisio...

A divorcee is not a supernatural being who needs to be kept at bay and never considered for marriage. Nevertheless, there are a few problems in marrying a divorcee that needs to be taken into account before you plunge into a relationship. Tune in and learn how to navigate this complex union!

t has become increasingly clear to me that at the basis of most divorces are problems of sexual connection. Two people may think that they are fighting about the kids or the in-laws or about whether to renovate the kitchen, but underneath it all is that unspoken tension related to the pressure of establishing a satisfying sexual relationship for both parties. I will explore what happens when a woman’s body shuts down and is no longer receptive to her husband’s touch. I’m looking at women who hav...

Some lucky people are born into families they adore spending time with—their loving mutual bonds make holidays and multi-generational vacations a drama-free joy. But for others, simply seeing an incoming call from a parent triggers an anxiety that dates back to childhood, and they leave family gatherings feeling hurt, angry, or exhausted. Toxic family dynamics can have far-reaching impact on our lives as adults. Tune in and learn how these toxic people can be overcome!

It’s normal for us to need time to ruminate and go over a romantic break-up in minute detail when we feel like we were the one who was dumped. Break-ups can definitely qualify as traumatic events and telling and re-telling the break-up story is a relatively normal reaction if it was traumatic for you. However, if you’re telling the same story two or three months after the break-up to the same friends; feeling that you're more depressed than just sad; experiencing emotional pain that is keeping y...

For as long as America has been a country, the straight white American man has been king of the hill. But as society changes and culture evolves, the ground beneath that hill is growing shaky. Economically, physically and emotionally, many American men are fighting to maintain a foothold.What it means to be a man today is different than what it meant 20 years ago, says James O'Neil, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Connecticut who studies gender role conflict. There's a paradigm shift oc...

Loneliness is often defined as the distressing feeling generated by a lack of meaningful, intimate, and reciprocal interactions. One might describe it as emotional isolation. Exacerbated by its gross under-recognition, loneliness is rapidly emerging as the great public health crisis of our time, especially after COVID. Academic research and an onslaught of headline news reveal that loneliness is to suicide, addiction, bullying, obesity, gastro-intestinal disease, metabolic syndrome, type II diab...

There are two paths we can take in any given situation: one is the path of avoiding pain in the moment, and the other is the more difficult path of delaying pleasure for a bigger purpose. Our cultural norms encourage us to seek Band-Aid solutions and temporary comforts—basically, whatever it takes to ease our discomfort now. This is apparent in the prevalence of casinos, commercials for psychiatric medications, and get rich quick schemes in our culture. Some people don’t see the value in having ...

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) is more than simply feeling sad, experiencing grief, or being super drained of energy. Those feelings are totally valid, but like most feelings, they’ll eventually pass. MDD is an often-debilitating mental illness that presents as a cluster of depressive symptoms. For most people, clinical depression won’t go away on its own and you can’t “just snap out of it.” While melancholy and exhaustion are part of depression, there are other symptoms to look for, including ...