Episodes

How can talking about death make living more meaningful? Olivier Larvor and Keith Clarke, two men who gave up successful careers in top companies to form their own life coach practices, believe that contemplating death can lead to a more vibrant quality in life and an improved sense of priorities. Together, they created Death Hangout, a podcast dedicated to conversation about death and life. This led them to co-author a book, Death, The Best Life Coach Ever which they plan to publish in 2018. Fi...

Loss can leave you alone and confused, with no one who gets what you're going through. If loss comes at a relatively young age, there may be no one in your friendship network who has been through it. After her father's death, Carla Fernandez found herself struggling to find support. She invited people she found through her larger circle, all of whom had experienced loss themselves, to come to dinner. This simple act grew into a widely recognized set of supports for other people across the countr...

With improvements in field medicine, an even greater number of soldiers have come home from wars in Afghanistan and Iraq disabled and in need of care. Their families then pick up the majority of that care and must adjust to a very different life than the one they lived before. In the film Weight of Honor, Stephanie Seldin Howard explores the impact on these families and how they adjust to profound losses and changes. What support do they receive? What is missing? And what can we learn from their...

When Diane Barnes, an accomplished physician, experienced a devastating stroke, she relearned many things. In the process, she learned how to live differently, leaving her profession and finding a new path as an actor and playwright. Her most recent play, My Stroke of Luck, chronicles her recovery from her stroke. How does the loss of all you have valued lead to such a creative and unexpected result? And what helped Diane to go beyond recovery and find a new meaning in her life? Most importantly...

Keeping memories alive of people we've lost is a way to continue our relationships. As society becomes more comfortable talking about death and loss and grief, public remembrances also become a more universally accepted practice. Websites, Facebook pages and other ways to collect these memories gain in popularity and become more and more appreciated by those of us who want to remember. Allison Gilbert, author of Passed and Present, a book full of activities to support these continued relationshi...

Kate Kendell's courage and conviction helped win the battle for marriage rights for all Americans, including those in same sex relationships. Her fierce advocacy and legal strategy have made her a popular speaker and social media personality. What led her here? Growing up Mormon and coming to terms with being a lesbian clarified her belief that all people deserve fair treatment and equal civil rights. Her career at the National Center for Lesbian Rights has supported the legal struggles of many ...

When all we know leaves us unprepared for loss, we must find a new way to respond. And when suicide is involved, the weight of what could have been can be weighty. Tara Caffelle’s former husband and good friend died, and she was left to sort out what she could have done, knowing she had done all she could. In her grief, she found her life.

How does someone find his way from the murder, at age 14, of both his parents to a life guided by big love? Scott Stabile evolved from putting his grief aside and going on with life to honoring and respecting, even inviting, his grief. In the process, he learned a lot about living with an open heart and loving himself and others as completely as possible in each moment. When he opened up to his deepest feelings, his deepest self, what he found was an unequivocal commitment to living a big, lovin...

As the United States increases its levels of incarceration and the length of sentences, more and more inmates are aging and dying in prison. How are they to be supported at the end of life? At Iowa State Penitentiary, the medical staff collaborated with the inmates to create a hospice program for dying incarcerated men. A special room is designed with comfort in mind, and prisoners who are part of the program can attend to the needs of the dying person. Family members can visit as well, giving e...

What is the legacy of trauma to future generations? Recent epigenetics research reveals that even the DNA of children, grandchildren and beyond are affected by severe trauma in generations before them. And so, the killings of 6 million Jews in the Holocaust, the genocide in Rwanda, the bombings in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the falling of the Twin Towers in New York; we continue to be affected by them. Elizabeth Rosner's parents, who lived through the Holocaust and came to the U.S., then eventually...

Jahnna Beecham and Katie Ortlip were friends and neighbors who sometimes had interesting conversations about Katie's work in hospice. She'd sometimes come home talking about a good death she'd experienced that day. The conversation became much more real for Jahhna when her 90 year old father was given a short time to live and she took on his care. Suddenly, she needed every bit of knowledge her friend Katie could share with her. As time went on, she realized she was not alone in needing this vit...

When Bill Philipps was fourteen, he watched his mother die after a life without peace. A few days later, he experienced the first manifestations of his unusual gift when she came to him to tell him what it was like now that she had died and crossed over. Over the years, he came to trust the times he heard others speak to him from the other side. But he didn't see himself as someone who fit the mold of a psychic medium. It took him years to claim his true gift and commit himself to offering it to...

Mindy Fried resolved to take the best possible care of her father as he neared the end of his life. That commitment was complicated by distance, a lifetime of relationship and the usual difficulties of care management, both his and hers. What supported her, more than anything, was the moments she took to write down what was happening. This simple practice, one she had employed many times for many reasons, kept her focused on what she was attempting. In the process, it gave her valuable insight i...

When Laura Lewis children were three and six, the love of her life, the father of her children, killed himself without warning. In the years that followed, she struggled to regain her balance, experiencing a destructive rebound relationship (which brought the blessing of a third child), a divorce and countless twists and turns. In the process, she learned what it took to keep herself healthy and well and, as she gained resiliency and strength, she found a passion for helping other people along t...

After years of work in end of life care, Mary Matthiesen was blindsided by the death of her mother. She was also filled with inspiration resulting from the conversations they had and the choices her mother made about completing her life on her own terms. In an evolution in her thinking born out of her story, Mary became impassioned about these conversations between people at the end of their lives, health care professionals and community leaders, believing that it is in the intersection between ...

After the death of his mother, Ned Buskirk wondered why we don't talk about death more. As a producer and artist, he found a way to invite the conversation when he hosted a small event in his home, called You're Going to Die: Poetry, Prose and Anything Goes. It was a hit, and led to larger and larger monthly events, a musician's program to work with people at the end of life, and finally, the largest event ever at the Great American Music Hall; You're Alive. He has established a non profit to su...

As a young and innocent 13 year old, Madeleine Black experienced an unimaginable and brutal rape which changed the course of her life. Although she spent many years affected by the experience, she was able, through her own perseverance and determination, to heal herself and create a life which she calls the best revenge. In the process, as a complete surprise to her, she came over many years to forgive the men who hurt her and let go of the anger and horror she had carried with her. By facing he...

Mirabai Starr was decades into a deep spiritual practice. Then on the day her first book, a translation of Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross, came out, her daughter was killed in a car crash. All she knew went out the window in this loss beyond all losses. Over time, what seemed to be lost after her daughter's death led to a transformation and deepening of her spiritual life. In her newest book, Caravan of No Despair: A Memoir of Loss and Transformation, she shares the path she too...

Phyllis Shacter's husband made a series of radical choices about how his life would end. When he received two life limiting diagnoses within six weeks of each other, Alzheimers and cancer, he refused cancer treatment and employed natural methods instead. He planned and participated in his own funeral and followed what he believed was best for him, choosing to stop eating and drinking before he was unable to consciously decide how his life would end. Throughout all of these experiences and decisi...

People experiencing serious mental illness are likely to suffer numerous losses; of family, jobs, stability and security. How can they be supported to identify their own goals and move towards accomplishing them, even if their condition cannot be fully managed? How do we maintain faith in their human capacity for change and growth within their own context? Psychiatrist William Tucker learned through his relationships with clients in the field that no matter what the diagnosis, they had goals and...

Until recently, very little attention was paid to the quality of our lives at the very end of our lives. But that is changing, fueled by patient demand but also by a group of medical practitioners who are passionate about making sure everything possible is done to empower people at the end of life. At the forefront of this movement are the palliative care doctors who help seriously ill and dying people navigate the territory they have entered, often unprepared. Shoshana Ungerleider took her own ...

Lucy Hone was already an expert on resilience when she faced the worst nightmare of her life; her daughter, best friend, and best friend's daughter were killed together in an auto accident. How did she use what she knew about resilience to face her grief? What does the field of resilience have to offer grievers? And how do we decide, in each moment, which of our many human tools to activate to carry us to the next day? For Lucy, the constant question was, will this help me or hurt me? By paying ...

As a person who had a long time meditation practice, Joe DiNardo had carried himself through hard times with presence and grace. But his wife's diagnosis with pancreatic cancer required that he bring every resource he had to each moment. He was sustained by his practice and also by an acute sense of his love for her and his absolute commitment to be with her every step of the way. How did his meditation practice help him do that? What sustained him through the loss of his life partner and love? ...

From the time Fleur was 4 years old, she communicated with the souls of people who were no longer alive. By good fortune, her family recognized that this was a gift, that she was different in a good way. Still, she didn't anticipate making a living with that gift. She grew up, and entered pre-med at UCLA in Los Angeles. Somehow, despite her intention for a medical career, she found her way to a life of communication with souls beyond this life. How did the road lead her to a full time career as ...