Episodes

Laura Davis has written about pain and healing her whole life. From her book The Courage to Heal to I Thought We'd Never Speak Again, she has offered help and hope to a wide community of people determined to find their way through their challenges. But what did she experience when her own loss, the decline and death of her mother, demanded more of her than she could have imagined? As she supported her mother, writing offered solace and helped her to move forward. And after her mother's death, sh...

What finally causes us to begin to explore the impact of death in our lives? For Cathy Zheutlin it was the deaths around her. As her mother's partner and several friends moved towards the end of their lives, she watched how they found their way to full living regardless of their failing health. As a person who seeks answers she became curious about how this was possible, how they could become comfortable with death. She was aware of her own fear. And knowing that her beloved mother would soon pa...

In the western world in the past 30 years, conversation has opened up about grief, illness and death. On the front lines, Susan Barber has witnessed it all and been behind the scenes for its major milestones, including many years producing events for Stephen and Ondrea Levine (Who Dies, Healing into Life and Death). What does she have to tell us about the evolution of hospice care and death conversation? Where is she going? And what first inspired her to make the end of life her life's work? Now...

Losing a loved parent leaves us feeling displaced and unmoored, unsure where home is. But what if that parent has died a world away, soon after you have left her? Not long after Uma Girish moved to the U.S. her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in India. Navigating her illness and death, and then grief was especially challenged at such a distance. What does support look like when you are new to a country and when all you have known well is inaccessible to you? How do you find your way in s...

What is it about deep loss and devastating life circumstance that sometimes hones our compassion? Perhaps we become aware of others who suffer as we do. Perhaps we come to feel there is nothing left but opening to compassion's mysteries. And perhaps compassion finds us at a desperate moment where nothing else works. For Virginia Sampson, it was all of the above. In compassion she found a balm she had never experienced before. As she developed her own capacity to meet others with compassion, her ...

With life experience, particularly loss experience, do we sometimes become more interested in connection, communication and compassion? For Barbara Gaughen-Muller, this is true. Her life work in facilitating meaningful conversation has sustained her through many of life's most difficult trials, including the death of her beloved husband. Join us to talk about how revolutionary conversations have informed her life and profoundly influenced her work and relationships. What are the tools she has di...

When John Brooks daughter jumped to her death from the Golden Gate bridge, his grieving mind searched for answers. He had thought she was a well-adjusted, normal teen, successful and getting ready to go to college. But how could she have done this if that was true? He set out to try his best to understand what had driven her and, in the process, learned about the potential impact on development of adoption. Could attachment issues have been part of what pushed her so far? His loss led him to dev...

After many other losses, Brent Green prepared to lose the last member of his family of origin, his sister. As the family sat with her, a wise chaplain introduced questions that opened up a new way for Brent to think about loss, death and its impact on living. During his grief, these questions continued to occupy him and led to his latest book, Questions of the Spirit: The Quest for Understanding at a Time of Loss. What are the questions that captured his attention and how did he answer them for ...

At the heart of the Lavender Pen tour of October, 2017 was a recognition that none of us are free until we are all free. One way participants connected LGBTQ oppression with the oppression of people of color and other marginalized communities was watching the film From Selma to Stonewall, which explores the intersection of the fights for African American civil rights and LGBTQ rights. The filmmakers then met the tour in Selma to speak at Brown Chapel and walk the Edmund Pettus Bridge with the to...

A tour which began from a desire to offer solace and inspiration to communities under attach became, also, an inspiration to those who participated and to people across the country. Capturing the imagination of many communities, the Lavender Pen tour attracted a full concert of people dedicated to capturing the tour for history. Most important, a film was envisioned to tell the stories of the tour as it travelled the southern U.S. As bridges were built between the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus ...

After the presidential election of 2016, two choir directors were looking for a way to take action. The San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus thought a tour of the southern states might give the choir an opportunity to offer solace and call attention to anti LGBTQ legislation. The Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir was moved by the message of inclusion and social activism and signed on. So the two directors, Tim Seelig and Terrance Kelly, collaborated to create a tour that would bring inspiration and supp...

When therapist Nisha Zenoff's 17 year old son died, her extensive training in supporting clients in grief suddenly felt inadequate. She entered a new world that called everything into question. Putting one foot in front of another, time passed and she came through the worst initial grief and became especially well prepared to support other parents who had lost a child. Although grief does not end, Nisha found a way forward. She has now compiled everything she has learned, from her own experience...

What is modern about loss? Human beings have been experiencing loss for as long as there have been human beings. But there is a movement going on right now that seeks to open up the conversation about grief, to create communities of people that support each other through their hardest times. As we engage on social media and through the internet the world becomes smaller and smaller and our ability to connect with other people and share our losses becomes more accessible. Modern Loss, the platfor...

How much do you know about offering empathy when someone you love is having hard times? Kelsey Crowe found that many people in her own life had a hard time being there for her through her own most difficult moments. Then she noticed that she was not great at it either! It became her mission to learn and teach the skills that lead to a sense that we are loved, supported, and trusted to find our own solutions. The book she co-authored with Emily McDowell, There is No Good Card for This, is a pract...

The heart which has known loss looks for echoes. Who has something to teach us about this new and daunting territory? Julie Saeger Nierenberg and Victoria Brewster set out on a search for people who had something to say about death, dying and end of life. In the process, they created a book full of individual and professional insights into the land of loss. Join us to talk about their new book, how it came about, and the impact it's had on them to explore this world.

As conversations about the end of life have become more open and available, many of us have become more active in planning our own ends. But what are the resources that help us to plan well? What can support us as we work to understand our choices and their consequences? Thankfully, there is help available. Joy Loverde has written a book to help us answer the questions most critical in planning for an end of life that reflects our values and resources. Who Will Take of Me When I'm Old? frames th...

What happens when a person who has supported others through their hardest times faces his own hardest time? In Rabbi Steve Leder's case, a crisis in his own life led to a deepening understanding of what it takes to come through such a time and what helps when you are the one facing something so life changing. Surviving, healing and growing forever holds the possibility of finding a more profound meaning. Rabbi Leder found that in his own suffering, his understanding of suffering itself deepened....

When Michelle Steinke-Baumgard's husband died suddenly, she found her few moments of peace in exercise. First depending on that time as a lifeline, she soon found a deep passion for the healing effects of endorphins on her grief, helping her to find a way forward for her life. Now, she is a fierce advocate for the power of exercise and endorphins as therapy for grief and trauma. Her book, Healthy Healing, tells her own story and shares what she learned about the the impact of exercise on well be...

How can talking about death make living more meaningful? Olivier Larvor and Keith Clarke, two men who gave up successful careers in top companies to form their own life coach practices, believe that contemplating death can lead to a more vibrant quality in life and an improved sense of priorities. Together, they created Death Hangout, a podcast dedicated to conversation about death and life. This led them to co-author a book, Death, The Best Life Coach Ever which they plan to publish in 2018. Fi...

Loss can leave you alone and confused, with no one who gets what you're going through. If loss comes at a relatively young age, there may be no one in your friendship network who has been through it. After her father's death, Carla Fernandez found herself struggling to find support. She invited people she found through her larger circle, all of whom had experienced loss themselves, to come to dinner. This simple act grew into a widely recognized set of supports for other people across the countr...

With improvements in field medicine, an even greater number of soldiers have come home from wars in Afghanistan and Iraq disabled and in need of care. Their families then pick up the majority of that care and must adjust to a very different life than the one they lived before. In the film Weight of Honor, Stephanie Seldin Howard explores the impact on these families and how they adjust to profound losses and changes. What support do they receive? What is missing? And what can we learn from their...

When Diane Barnes, an accomplished physician, experienced a devastating stroke, she relearned many things. In the process, she learned how to live differently, leaving her profession and finding a new path as an actor and playwright. Her most recent play, My Stroke of Luck, chronicles her recovery from her stroke. How does the loss of all you have valued lead to such a creative and unexpected result? And what helped Diane to go beyond recovery and find a new meaning in her life? Most importantly...

Keeping memories alive of people we've lost is a way to continue our relationships. As society becomes more comfortable talking about death and loss and grief, public remembrances also become a more universally accepted practice. Websites, Facebook pages and other ways to collect these memories gain in popularity and become more and more appreciated by those of us who want to remember. Allison Gilbert, author of Passed and Present, a book full of activities to support these continued relationshi...

Kate Kendell's courage and conviction helped win the battle for marriage rights for all Americans, including those in same sex relationships. Her fierce advocacy and legal strategy have made her a popular speaker and social media personality. What led her here? Growing up Mormon and coming to terms with being a lesbian clarified her belief that all people deserve fair treatment and equal civil rights. Her career at the National Center for Lesbian Rights has supported the legal struggles of many ...